


The One You Remember

by Maggiemaye, marissadan



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Attempting to Fix Quintis, Emotional pain, F/M, Hiatus fic, Post 2x24, Repairing Relationships, Secrets, Slow Burn, The Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-06-04 23:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6680770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggiemaye/pseuds/Maggiemaye, https://archiveofourown.org/users/marissadan/pseuds/marissadan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toby is down on one knee to ask the most important question of his life, and Happy's answer brings nothing but newly exposed secrets, pain, and ultimately, more questions. Happy's married to someone else and Toby's heart is shattered, but what happens next?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a hiatus-long multi-chapter fic that picks up right where the season finale left off. We will be addressing the elephant in the garage, Happy's secret marriage, and attempting to repair our beloved Quintis. Team M&M has a ton of things planned for this, so stay tuned. :) Maggie and I have alternated writing chapters, and chapter 1 is brought to you by my sweet tag team partner, Maggie. We've already had so much fun with this, and we can't wait for you to read it. Enjoy!  
> -Marissa

Happy throws her truck in gear and she’s gone before she even thinks about it. Her mind is on fire, there is a cold metal fist around her chest, and no matter how fast she drives she knows she won’t outrun any of it. The previous ten minutes, maybe the worst of her entire life, are already becoming a blur. Her heart is in her throat, pounding out _no no no no_  as if maybe it will all be erased if she wills it hard enough.

“This isn’t real,” she breathes, the headlights on the road blurring through her tears. “This isn’t happening.” Now that she’s on her own, her body lets itself really cry.

The look in his eyes as he’d stared up at her from the floor. Happy heaves out another sob just thinking about it. The utter shock and confusion there as his confetti cannon had taunted them; that’s the only clear thing in her mind. She knows she said the necessary words and got the hell out of there, but all she really remembers is his crestfallen face.

Damn him. If he had just left well enough alone, if he had just taken the hint, they wouldn’t be in this mess right now. Just as she’s slamming her fist against the steering wheel, though, Toby’s voice is in her head.

_You know, you really don’t want to misdirect your rage, sugarplum. You’ll never get to the root of the problem that way._

Even in her imagination, Happy knows he’s right. Damn him.

She knows she should have told him. There has been a knot in her stomach since he first brought up the “hypothetical marriage thing.” But every time she had thought about bringing it up, there he’d be with a kiss or a one-liner, laughing at his own jokes and looking over to see if she was laughing too. And given the choice between thinking about Toby and thinking about the decisions her twenty-year-old self had made, Happy would choose Toby every single time.

She doesn’t know where else to go but home. For a brief minute she considers paying her dad a visit, but the thought of being like this in front of anyone is unbearable. It’s the right decision right now, to be by herself in her dark, empty apartment.

The second she walks into her bedroom Happy knows she can’t sleep there tonight. She can’t even go near her bed without picturing Toby there next to her. That morning she had woken up without knowing where he was or where he’d been the night before. She had thought she’d been assuming the worst when images of poker games had raced through her mind. Little had she known how much more gut-wrenching the next twenty-four hours would be.

She sits on her couch and cries like she hasn’t in years. Maybe later she’ll feel angry again, but in this moment it’s difficult for her to imagine ever feeling anything but pain. Instinctively, she grabs for the blanket that’s draped over the back of her couch, folding it over her knees as she draws them into her chest. But it only takes a moment for her to remember the countless times she and Toby had curled up underneath it. Some nights they would eat dinner there; some nights they watched TV until hands started to wander under the blanket and the couch suddenly felt too small. Happy shakes the memories away and looks around her living room, but all she sees is Toby; his textbooks on her coffee table, his backup hat thrown onto the coat rack right above her leather jacket. She had complained about that stupid hat every chance she got, and now all she wants is to see him wearing it right in front of her. It had taken so little time for him to become a centerpiece of her life.

She remembers now why she’s spent so many years guarding desperately against heartbreak. _Tools don't let you down, people do_ , she’d once said to Toby. With a sickening jolt, it occurs to her that she’s just been incredibly efficient in teaching him this lesson. He’d been kidnapped today, almost killed, and yet Happy feels certain he’d rather be tied to that chair right now than going through this particular torture. Guilt lances through her like a blade, over and over.

Toby is it for her. He’s the one. Happy knows this. And she’s just shattered him into a million pieces. But this is Toby; the most reliable person she’s known. Surely now that he knows the truth, they can talk. They can figure things out and go on.

He’ll understand, she thinks. He will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for chapter 2!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the encouragement and support so far as we start this summer journey :) We're going to try to update this at least once a week, and hopefully more whenever we can manage it. This chapter is courtesy of Marissa, my fantastic collaborator and twin mind. Comments are love, as always! We're embarking on something totally new here, so we appreciate feedback :)
> 
> -Maggie

Toby feels like he’s drowning. He isn’t sure if he’s drowning in tequila or in his heartbroken  thoughts, but he is drowning.

He hates his genius mind. He hates everything right now. He detests the fact that not even alcohol can slow his rapidly running brain. He can’t stand that he knows he’ll never be able to forget the look on her face or the tears in her eyes when she’d said no. But most of all, Toby hates the fact that he’d even lived through the day.

Letting that jar of acid tip over and suffocate him would have hurt less.

Toby had thought he knew pain, but he’s never felt pain like this before. The empty feeling is unfamiliar and ultimately unwelcome. It feels like his chest is caving in and someone has a vice grip on his lungs. Nothing has ever felt this bad, not even being tied to a chair with death looming above his head, and knowing he’d never see anyone he loved ever again.

He scoffs, thinking of those people. His team, his family. The people that had left him alone, whether he wanted to be or not. A few hours before, he’d been devastated when he thought that his team wouldn’t be able to save him. That devastation quickly morphed into relief when Happy came to his rescue. It seemed like she was always saving him. But then suddenly, the world stopped spinning and the relief he’d felt turned into the worst pain he’d ever experienced.

It’s safe to say that today was the worst day of Toby Curtis’ life, and now he was a broken, crumpled, heap in the same chair he’d been in for over an hour. He had been staring at the door Walter bolted out of since the moment he left. He was completely alone, in every sense of the word. Toby was alone with his thoughts, and being alone with his thoughts never ended well for him. 

His mind hasn’t stopped for a second since he watched Happy walk away from him and walk away from them altogether. He has so many questions, and he doesn’t know where to begin. Toby knows exactly how the human brain would process this. He knows exactly how, psychologically, his mind should deal with the abandonment, the betrayal, the loss, the pain. None of that matters now. Every rational thought he’s had since that moment has been promptly met with a “No.” or an “I can’t” or the worst one of all, “I’m married to someone else.” all said in a voice that used to comfort, but now haunts him. Those three statements and Happy’s pained face are all he can think about, and every time they flash across his mind they are accompanied by a painful amount of tequila.

Toby tries to think about Walter on his way to Paige, he tries to think about how much fun Sylvester and Ralph were having, he tries to think about anything else, anyone else. But everything leads back to her. She had always been all he could think about, even after she shattered his heart.

Even seeing her face in his mind’s eye makes him feel sick. All he wanted when Collins had him tied to that chair was to see Happy’s face again, but in one moment everything changed. He doesn’t think he could even look at her right now.

The fire burning down his throat is doing nothing to dull the pain, and the bottle is nearly empty, but Toby knows exactly what could take the pain away. He’d been avoiding that thought, deep down he knows it isn’t good for him, but allowing himself to stay in this much pain isn’t good for him either.

It seems like nothing is good for him, and nothing ever can be again.

The person he loved and trusted most in the world has been lying to him since the moment they met, and she’d just walked out and left him stranded.

The thought sends a fresh wave of pain through Toby, and he’s out of the chair before he can think twice. He stands up, feeling a lot less dizzy than he probably should feel after God knows how much tequila.

He strides over to the door, only stumbling a few times, and his hand is on the door handle when the thought strikes him.

All of a sudden it’s like he is back on the rooftop, the scene playing out as if he’s watching a movie, burning the betting slips, making a shaky promise to get her to trust him. The memory feels like forever ago; after today, every memory of the two of them does.

He promised her that he wouldn’t do this.

Then in a flash of defiant anger, he opens the door and doesn’t look back.

Toby walks away from the garage, away from the pain, and stumbles towards the only thing that has ever given him relief from life’s torment.

The promise is completely broken, dissolved in one swift move, just like Toby's heart.

Toby will love her until the day he dies, but he doesn't know if he can forgive her.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as they get past the security guard and find the vault they’re looking for, Paige mutes their comms.

“So, the garage felt pretty chilly this morning.”

“Back off, Dineen,” Happy grumbles. It takes her about ten seconds to dismantle the lock on the vault, and she could have done it with her eyes closed. She almost wishes it were a more complicated job, so she could focus all her attention on her task and not what Paige is saying.

“It’s pretty clear you haven’t talked to Toby yet,” Paige presses. This is the first time Happy’s been alone with any of the team today, including the one person she’d been thinking about all weekend long. That morning she had walked into the garage fully intending to speak to Toby, to take him aside and try to explain things. But the second she’d seen him, Happy’s words had lodged in her throat. And obviously, Paige had noticed.

“Your people skills might have worked on that guard, but they’re not going to work on me,” Happy snaps. “This is my business, not anyone else’s.”

“Happy. Don’t you think he deserves something?”

The lock breaks open. Happy deliberately pushes past Paige to get inside, and they search for the documents they’re looking for. It doesn’t take long, and Paige spends the whole time with one eye on Happy. It makes her skin crawl.

“I couldn’t, okay?” she blurts out, mostly because she knows Paige won’t leave this alone unless she says something. “I had my phone out all weekend long, ready to call, but every time I thought about it I backed out. You saw his face. There’s nothing I can say that’s going to make this better.”

_And I thought he would call but he didn’t. I thought I could do this but I can’t._

“The truth could be a start,” Paige replies, and Happy hates how gentle her voice has become. “Are you afraid to talk to him?”

Happy slams the vault door shut before they make their getaway, which is all the answer Paige probably needs.

“I’m not afraid of Toby,” she snaps, when they make it out of the building and to their rendezvous point. “It’s just...it’s a lot. I didn’t think it would be this hard to talk about.”

“Well, you’ve kept it hidden for so long,” Paige encourages. “Is it...is it something painful? Something you’ve been trying to get away from?”

Happy has to think for quite a while about how to answer.

“Yeah,” she finally decides. “But not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

Paige waits for her to continue, but Happy’s done talking to her about this particular subject. She hasn’t touched this in what feels like forever; ever since she’d met Walter and found a home with Scorpion, there hasn’t been any need to think about what she’d left behind. It’s all a distant lifetime by now. And then it had all blown up in her face, so quickly. Happy grits her teeth and stares straight ahead, watching the traffic whiz by.

After a while, Paige tries a different tactic.

“Well, whatever’s going on, I’m sure Toby would want to hear it.”

Happy looks over. Paige is giving her that warm and understanding look that always gets normals talking. Frankly, Happy is a little impressed that she can look so calm while they’re standing virtually unprotected, hiding from security while they wait for Cabe to pick them up.

Their comms are muted. Maybe, Happy thinks, it would be okay to uncoil some of the tension she’s been holding in all day.

“I just picture what he looked like when I told him I’m...well, you heard. I don’t know if I can see him like that again.”

“Happy.” Paige looks down at her with something close to pity on her face. “I know it’s a tough conversation, but it’s one that has to happen. You owe him that much.”

Happy sighs. “Yeah, I know.”

“And Toby loves you so much,” Paige goes on with a little smile. “He’s worshipped the ground you walk on since the day I met him. I know he would want to work things out.”

“Don’t you get it? That makes it even worse.”

Paige nods slowly. “You’re feeling guilty about hiding this from him.”

“I didn’t think it would ever be an issue. I just kept thinking I’d have time to...get this taken care of. And it would never come between me and Toby.” She squeezes her hands into fists at her sides. “You think I wanted to do this to him?”

“I’m no shrink,” Paige says with a wry grin, “but when I look at Toby I see someone who’s crushed and confused. And you’re the only one who can even begin to make that better.”

“Don’t see how,” Happy mumbles.

“By coming clean. I know you’re scared, but secrets are what got you into this in the first place. The only way out is to shine a light on this whole situation. For you and for Toby.”

Cabe’s black van comes into view up the street, meaning that they only have a few seconds left to talk.

“So. Coming clean.”

“You won’t regret it, Happy.”

She scuffs her boot against the concrete. “Let’s hope so.”

“And, hey,” Paige says quickly, “if you ever want to talk with someone else about all this, you know I’m always here.”

Happy gives her a tiny smile. “I might have to take you up on that.”

* * *

 

“Paige, Happy, and Cabe are heading back here now,” Walter announces to the garage. “Sly, you’ll take care of the security footage?”

“On it, boss,” Sly chimes in from his desk, already typing away. Toby’s job had been done long ago; he’d spied on the guard through the hacked security footage and told Paige exactly what to say to get past him. So he’s had nothing to do but wait for the past hour or so; wait and try to keep his thoughts away from a very specific rabbit hole.

Walter stops briefly to look over Sly’s shoulder before making a beeline for Toby.

“Yes?” Toby inquires, raising his eyebrows and taking off his headphones..

“Toby. You’re shaking.”

Toby follows Walter’s gaze down, and is a little surprised to find his own leg bouncing uncontrollably.

“Yeah, well, withdrawals are no joke, my friend. Even with process addictions.” The acid in his tone is surprising too; Toby had thought he’d compartmentalized all his agony from the weekend. But that morning Happy had walked right past him without a pause, keeping her head down and only speaking when it pertained directly to their case.

“You gambled this weekend.”

“I might have.” Toby shrugs. It’s already a hazy memory. “Once. And then I might have gone home and watched Moulin Rouge six times. It was a momentary lapse, I’ve got it handled. No need to worry about me sabotaging the team.”

Walter tilts his head to the side.

“Um, Toby. How are you...holding up?”

“Wow, Walt,” Toby deadpans. “I can see you’re on some sort of honeymoon high with Paige after this weekend, but there’s no need to get sappy.”

Walter pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly exasperated.

“Believe it or not, Toby, I am conscious of your well-being. I am...sorry that you had to find out this way.”

“Yeah, me too, it was-” Toby starts to let it all out--even to 197, it can’t hurt to vent--but he glances at Walter’s face and stops. He’s avoiding eye contact, shifting his gaze downward, and fidgeting even more than a typical Walter amount. Toby’s back on his game today; he can see that Walter isn’t telling him everything.

“This way,” Toby muses. “As opposed to…”

Walter doesn’t reply, but Toby can put the rest together himself.

“You already knew. You knew Happy was married and you never said anything?”

Walter’s sigh is as good as an admission of guilt, and it’s more of a gut punch than Toby had even expected. He pushes his chair back and stands up, pointing his finger down at Walter.

“So you’ve been watching me make a complete jackass of myself for years, knowing this was going to come up. You and Happy both! I bet you two would get your giant robot heads together and laugh about it.”

“No, that isn’t how it was. Happy doesn’t know that I know.”

Toby pauses. “She doesn’t?”

“She never told me. I just came across the information when I was searching her records upon joining the team. It was irrelevant to her professional functioning, so I saw no reason to ever approach the subject with her. That is, until it became clear that your relationship was going to progress.”

“But you never wanted us to be together in the first place. If you had the knowledge, why didn’t you just beat us over the heads with it like usual?”

Walter swallows. Toby can see that he’s trying to buy a little time before answering.

“Yes, it’s true that I was against the two of you developing an...entanglement, but I anticipated that the information would...would hurt you. I found myself trying to avoid that outcome.”

Their couples therapy must have worked even better for Walter than Toby had thought; there is genuine concern on his face and it’s all very, well, normal. Toby is touched, although he can’t quite resist ruining the moment.

“Oh, Walter,” he says, wiping away fake tears. “You do love me after all.”

As expected, Walter doesn’t laugh.

“So does Happy, you know,” he says haltingly, and Toby feels the smile slide off his face. Across the garage, Sylvester stops typing.

“You didn’t hear from her all weekend?” Sly pipes up, rubbing his glasses furiously on his sweater vest.

Toby shakes his head. “I would have called, but she said not to follow her. Figured that meant she didn’t want me talking to her either.”

Walter reaches out to hesitantly clasp his shoulder and starts to say something else, but at that moment the door opens and the rest of the team files inside. Paige and Cabe scurry away, presumably to debrief with Walt, leaving Happy standing next to the door alone. Toby isn’t prepared for the way his stomach seems to clench in on itself as she turns toward him.

She isn’t staring past him anymore. Her shoulders are squared, her jaw is locked, and she’s finally meeting his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Her bravery all but disappears as soon as they’re alone.

She had thought she could do this; she had thought she could summon the courage to explain herself, but the combination of the look in his eyes and the fact that they are alone, for the first time since she’d ruined everything, is crushing her resolve.

The tension in the empty garage is suffocating, and Toby wants nothing more than to leave. It’s not like him to want to run, especially from her. Everything in him wants to get as far away from the pain as possible.

But something tells him to stay.

Toby doesn’t know if he can bear the weight of actually letting Happy explain herself, but thoughts of the last few sleepless nights he’d spent wondering about her past win out. He needs answers, and against his better judgement his feet stays stuck to the floor.

Happy is sitting at her desk, and he looks up just long enough to try to read her expressions. She’s hyper focused on whatever she’s looking down at, and even though part of her face is out of his view, he can tell that she is fighting a battle in her own mind.

They need to talk. Theoretically, if they didn’t work together every day, they could have avoided each other forever and this could have been the end of them. But they do work together, and Toby’s not sure if that’s a positive or a negative in this situation. They have to work this out, at least enough to be civil with each other at work. Their jobs are too important. Toby knows that, but he’s not making the first move. He shouldn’t have to.

“We need to talk.” She says it quietly, and she doesn’t move from her desk.

He takes a deep breath. He hadn’t realized how hard this was going to be.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Toby says, his voice even quieter than hers.

Happy finally looks up at him, just for a split second, but it’s enough. He can easily see how upset she is, and her crestfallen expression nearly kills him. He wants so badly to be able to just forgive her and pull her into his arms and never let her go, but he can’t. He’s been hurt one too many times, and he can’t let it happen again.

Then, it’s like a switch flips. Her posture turns defensive, and her face turns emotionless.

“I didn’t want you to find out like that.” She takes a shaky breath, keeping her eyes trained on the floor.

Toby resists the urge to scoff.

“How exactly did you want me to find out?” His voice is louder this time, almost back to it’s normal volume.

Now they’re both staring at the floor. Neither one can stand the pain in the other’s eyes.

“I wanted to tell you. There were so many times I almost told you.” Happy keeps her answers short, mostly because she’s barely holding it together.

Even after everything they’ve been through, she still won’t let him see her cry.

“Why didn’t you?” To Toby, that’s the worst part. He had thought Happy trusted him; he’d thought they were a team. The fact that Happy didn’t trust his love for her enough to tell him is more painful than the fact that she’s married to someone else.

The sound of his broken voice nearly destroys her.

She decides to be completely honest in her answer. That is the only way to fix this.

“Every time I tried to tell you, you would do something that made me stop. You would tell me you love me or make a stupid joke with that grin on your face. You’d do something that made me-” Her sentence trails off. She wants to say it, she’d been wanting to say it for what seemed like forever, but she can’t, not right now. She doesn’t think he’d even want to hear it. “Something that made me care about you more and then I couldn’t do it.”

She takes a deep breath, and when he doesn’t respond, she continues.

“I couldn’t ruin those moments, I couldn’t ruin us. But I waited too long, and I ran out of chances. Then suddenly I had to tell you in the worst way possible. I ruined everything.” It breaks Toby’s heart all over again seeing her like this; Happy’s usual cool confidence broken down into self-hating insecurity.

“Did you not trust me?” His voice is low, and painfully vulnerable.

Happy shakes her head, trying to banish the tears that had pooled up in her eyes.

“Too many people have hurt you. It was never because I didn’t trust you. I just wanted to be the only person who didn’t hurt you.”

Her words bring up thoughts of every person that’s let him down in his life. Suddenly thoughts of his parents, of his ex-fiancee, of every broken relationship he’s ever had. Happy’s right, Toby has been hurt by too many people, and he’d never thought for a second that she’d be one of them.

“Happy-” Toby doesn’t quite know what he wants to say, but she cuts him off before he has a chance to decide.

“No. I hurt you. I broke your heart, and I ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She slumps back against her desk, almost defeated.

Toby had thought his heart was shattered beyond repair, but it still manages to skip a beat when she says he’s the best thing that had ever happened to her.

“Can I ask you something?” Her voice is still small and unsteady, but she finally looks up to meet his eyes.

He nods, not trusting words when her gaze is tearing into him, her eyes full of so much emotion.

“Did you gamble?”

It’s the one question he was hoping she wouldn’t ever ask. He’d hoped it was the one thing they’d never mention.

Really, he doesn’t owe her anything. He could walk right out and never answer her.

“If I say yes are you going to be mad at me?” Toby says, echoing his words from the last time he’d seen Happy this emotional. Somehow, even though they’re in shambles, he still can’t stand the thought of Happy being mad at him.

He hates thinking about that night. It wasn’t the worst bender he’d ever been on, but that didn't matter. He’d gotten out alive and well, virtually unscathed, and he’d left with nothing but bad memories. Toby had realized that gambling doesn’t have the power over him that it used to. For the first time, gambling hadn’t fixed anything, it hadn’t made him feel any better. He’d never regretted anything so much. He hates knowing he broke a promise to her, even considering the circumstances.

To his utter surprise, Happy lets out a bitter laugh.

“I have no right to be mad at you. I practically made you do it. I made you give it up, then I turned around and drove you right back. I drove you to do something dangerous. You were doing so well, and I ruined that for you, just like I ruined everything else.” Happy ran her fingers through her hair vigorously, almost like her sadness had instantly turned to anger. Toby knows exactly how she feels. He’s in a pit of self-loathing right now too, but not nearly as deep as she is.

He starts to speak again, but Happy beats him to it.

“Look, Toby,” she starts, running her fingers through her hair again. The crushing sadness in her voice when she says his name nearly crumbles his resolve. “I made a huge mistake, and I don’t know if I can fix it, but I just need you to know that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” Happy looks up to the ceiling, once again trying to fight off the tears.

“You still want to fix it?” For the first time since she said no, a trace of a hopeful glint returns to Toby’s eyes.

Happy freezes for a moment then sets her jaw, and the tears that were in her eyes moments before are long gone.

“I don’t know if I can fix it, but I’m going to try.” The sadness in her voice has morphed into her signature brand of determination.

Toby knows better than anyone that Happy can do anything she puts her mind to. He’s seen that look of determination in her compelling eyes a million times before, and he knows that if Happy wants to fix this, she will.

They are nowhere near the finish line. There will be more pain and heartache, more hurdles to jump over, but at least now Toby isn’t hopeless.

Toby is watching her walk out of the garage and away from him when he’s hit with a thought, an almost distant memory.

_Love can be misspelled and messy, but it still works, it just needs to be given a chance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading! We really appreciate the encouragement and support from you guys so far, especially as we take a slower pace toward resolution for these two kiddos. Feedback means the world to us, so feel free to let us know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drops this off and runs away*
> 
> (Also you guys are the best! Thanks so much for continuing to read!)

Stopping by Kovelsky’s for bagels is one of the most normal things Toby can think of to do at a time like this, when everything else seems to be shifting underneath him. He’d woken up three times the night before, mumbling for Happy and reaching across the empty bed, before blinking out of his daze and remembering why she wasn’t there. By the time his alarm had gone off he’d been disoriented and more tired than when he’d gone to bed.

He’s hoping to get to the garage a little early; maybe some time there alone will help him ease into the day.

However things stand with Happy, it’s time to pull himself together. His personal life might be a mess, but he can still do something as simple as picking up breakfast for the team. He turns up his classic rock station on the way over and even hums along a little. _Fake it till you make it_ , he thinks.

When he gets to the garage, however, he finds Happy already there. She’s never at work this early; Toby thinks she must have been thinking along the same lines as him. Even Walter is still upstairs, or maybe he didn’t even come home last night. Either way, the air is thick with tension any time he and Happy are alone together. A few days ago, Toby didn’t think anything could make things with Happy this awkward; he’d thought nothing about their relationship was uncomfortable, and he’d thought there was nothing they couldn’t talk about.

“Uh,” she says, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Hey.”

“Brought breakfast.” He fishes out Happy’s bagel and tosses it to her; she catches it effortlessly. It’s sesame, her favorite, and Toby can see the realization flash across her eyes.

“Um--”

“So--”

They both cut themselves off and laugh a little.

“Thanks for the bagel.”

“You’re welcome.” Toby smiles at her. He doesn’t think he’s angry with her at this moment. Frustrated and drained, maybe, but there’s no fight in him. Happy smiles back, just as tentatively.

“Uh...maybe we can stay late tonight?”

Toby nods and opens his mouth to answer when Walter walks in, Paige following right behind him. Sylvester and Cabe follow not long after, and soon the garage is filled with morning noise.

Their only job that day is a glorified software update that Walter pawns off right away.

“Sly, you can take care of it?” he asks, not even looking up from his computer.

“Okay, but someone is going to have to drive me.”

“I’ll go,” says Happy quickly, practically jumping out of her chair to join Sly at the door. They’re gone in the next few minutes, and Toby lets out a deep sigh.

The other three are silent for a beat. Toby can feel them all staring at him.

“Toby,” Paige starts, “I don’t mean to pry--”

“But you’re about to anyway?” Toby asks with an arched brow and a smirk.

“How are things? With you and Happy?”

“Hell if I know,” he replies with a shrug. “She’s still got a secret spouse hiding out somewhere, but she’s talking to me again. So. It’s ups and downs.”

“Has she told you anything about…”

“Not yet. I think that might be coming tonight.”

He’s trying to play this cool, and he pretends his friends believe him. It’s hard to fool himself, though, especially when Cabe grips him by the arm and drags him to the kitchen table.

“Listen, Doc,” he says once they’re alone, “no one expects you to act like nothing’s happened.”

“No offense, but if I wanted a therapist I’d call Dr. Rizzuto.”

Cabe just sits down at the table and gestures to the other chair. Frowning, Toby joins him.

“Wisecrack all you want, kid, but you’re not fooling anybody. What you’re going through with Happy...it would bring anybody to their knees for a while. I don’t buy the denial act you’re putting on.” He takes a drink of coffee. “All I’m saying is, I’d hate for you to try to handle this on your own.”

Toby sighs and drops his head into his hands, knocking his hat onto the table in the process.

“Cabe, it’s all I think about. I keep turning it over and over in my head, trying to figure out what I missed. And none of the pieces fit. So if it’s okay with you, I just want to come here and talk about work and have one thing in my life that makes sense.”

Cabe nods over his coffee mug. “Fair enough, Doc. But what I said still stands. We’re a team.”

Toby attempts a smile.

“I appreciate the concern.” As he says it, Toby finds that it’s true. But he says it with a finality that he hopes will shift them away from this minefield and back onto safer ground.

* * *

 

The garage, Happy reasons, is the best place to have these conversations because it’s neutral ground. But she hadn’t considered the downside of always having the damn piano in her view.

She’s feeling uncertain after her outburst a couple of days before. She does want to fix things, and it had been incredibly easy to say in the moment. But as she’s sitting in front of Toby, Happy realizes she doesn’t have a clue where to start.

“I have questions.”

“Fair enough,” says Happy, trying to sound even-keeled even though she hasn’t felt that way in days. “I don’t want to lose you over this.”

“I believe you.” Toby smiles. “And I don’t want that either.”

“Okay then.” She lets out a shaky breath. “I’m not good at the ‘talking it out’ thing, so tell me what to do here, Toby.”

“Well,” he says, eyes focused like lasers on her face, “first I need to know what the hell’s going on. Who...who is it? What happened? I mean, clearly you haven’t been with this person in a long time, so why are you still married?”

Happy’s stomach drops like a lead ball. Obviously she’d expected the questions, and even thought about how she might answer them, but now that her back’s against the wall, all the rehearsal seems irrelevant. Usually she does not have a problem with blunt honesty. She’s never been one to dance around the issue or hold back. But she’s awash in memories, Toby’s looking at her with the tiniest glimmer of hope in his eyes, and Happy finds that she’s lost her footing completely.

Either way, they both lose. Keeping it from him is eating at them both. But she’s been thinking about it, and if she gives him what he’s asking for, Happy is convinced that Toby will never look at her the same way again. She and Paige had both been wrong; honesty will only make this worse in the end. It would mean showing Toby the person she used to be--maybe even the person she still is.

There’s a reason she’s kept it all buried so long.

“I can’t tell you.” Happy means it literally; even the thought of explaining this to him tightens her throat to the point of pain. “I wanted to, and I thought I could. But I can’t yet. Trust me on that, Toby, please.”

Dumbfounded, Toby’s eyebrows fly up his forehead.

“I am trying so hard to understand this.” He speaks slowly, controlling his words and his tone, and Happy realizes he’s never been this upset with her before. “I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and I’m sure you have your reasons, but damn it, Happy…” He drops his face into his hands. “It’s like you’re trying to sabotage this. I need some transparency, I need details!”  
  
“Why?” she says sharply. “Why does it matter, Toby? I’m telling you it’s in the past and I want to be with you. Why do you need more than that?”

“It matters because I wanted to _marry_ you. When I said you were the biggest gamble of my life I meant it. There was never a question of whether to trust you or not, because I knew that you of all people wouldn’t give me false hope. But now…” He runs a hand through his hair and takes a breath, like he’s having trouble getting the words out.

“You can’t have it both ways, Happy. You can’t have me and this secret at the same time.”

Toby looks pained as he says it, but resolute. Happy feels all the breath leave her lungs. She realizes that there had never been a time when she’d actually thought Toby would choose to step back from her, from their relationship. Sure, a normal guy probably would have, but Toby isn’t a normal guy.

I wanted to marry you, he’d said. The past tense isn’t lost on Happy; thinking about it, she feels even sicker.

“So that’s it, then? We’re just done?” She says it before she can stop herself, and Happy hates the way it sounds, soft and shaky.

Toby reaches his hand out for hers, like he can’t help it. Happy tries to pretend that his fingers linking with hers doesn’t send sparks through her nerve endings. And she definitely doesn’t let it remind her of the first time they held hands, when the actual fireworks flying through the air were nothing compared to the sparks between them.

“Happy, I love you,” he says, looking into her eyes. “That’s never going to change. But if you can’t be open with me about something this huge, I can’t imagine being with you the way we were. I don’t think I can do that to myself.”

She’s heard Toby tell her he loves her a hundred times before, and every time it nudges something hopeful to life in her chest. She had never admitted that to him, but Happy thinks he’s probably seen it every time. This time, though, the hope is overshadowed by the words that follow. All Happy can do is nod, and hope that she doesn’t do something horrifying like beg Toby to change his mind.

“So, what do we do?”

“Well, I propose--” Toby winces at his own choice of words. Happy would smack him upside the head if things weren’t so hideously awkward between the two of them now.

“I _suggest_ we try things as friends. We’re going to be in each other’s lives no matter what, so we might as well call a truce. I still want to be close to you, Hap.”

“Yeah. I want that too. And what if...later…” Happy can’t finish, but Toby seems to know where she’s going.

“Then we’ll talk. But for now? Friends.” He sticks out his hand.

“This all seems...familiar,” she says as she shakes it, chancing a wry grin. He grins back and shrugs one shoulder. His face looks so calm now, his psych training undoubtedly kicking in. Happy has never been able to read him when he’s like this. But his hand is warm around hers, so she focuses on that until he pulls it back.

“It worked once before, right?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was recently asked on tumblr who I'd like to see more of in fics... And after discussing that person with Maggie, we developed the idea for this chapter. It's a little different, and we've both been anxiously waiting for you guys to read it.  
> -Marissa

Sylvester may not be a Harvard trained behaviorist, but he’s more observant than anyone gives him credit for. He notices things that most of the emotionally challenged people on his team don’t ever pick up on. 

A week ago, he watched as the relationship between two of his closest friends imploded. He spent that whole weekend with Ralph focusing on how he could help, how he could fix them. Sylvester can’t stand to see them in so much pain. He knows what it feels like to lose the one person you love. The difference is, Happy and Toby have the chance to get each other back, and Sylvester isn’t going to let them pass that up. 

Three days ago, he listened to Walter’s feeble attempts at trying to console Toby, and he sat back, waiting. At the time, he didn’t know what to do. The words he needed to use weren’t formulating in his mind. His mind was great at formulating numbers, but not comforting words of advice. 

Two days ago, Sylvester watched as Happy and Toby awkwardly avoided each other, it seemed like the closest friendship he’d ever seen, the friendship that had led to a seemingly strong romantic relationship, was dissolving. They hadn’t even talked to each other that day, and Sylvester knew that he couldn’t do anything to help until they at least attempted to work this out on their own. 

Yesterday, he tried to observe their behavior from his desk. Sly was trying to think like Toby, he needed to judge where they were going to go from here. Some of the awkwardness in the garage had dissipated, and for that he was grateful, but he still needed to know that two of the most important people in his life were going to be okay. Sylvester noticed the way that Toby gazed at Happy over the book he was supposedly reading. Every time, it was like Happy could feel his eyes on her, and she looked up the moment he looked away. Then minutes later, Happy would look up from her tools to watch Toby read. The cycle repeated itself all day. The broken looks in their eyes, and the way their usual synchronicity had given way to missing each other’s line of sight by mere seconds bothered Sylvester more than he could say. It was endlessly frustrating, and he felt helpless. 

Today, he’d worked with Happy almost all day. She’d seemed tense, more than usual, and she had kept the talking to a minimum. Sylvester had wanted to talk to her, and it almost seemed like he’d had the courage to, but they’d keep getting interrupted. Nothing raises his anxiety levels more than a problem he can’t fix, and right now Happy and Toby seem like that problem. But now that the job is done, there are no more excuses, and Sylvester is able to summon his courage enough to nervously saunter in Happy’s direction. 

“Happy, can I talk to you for second?” He asks, playing with the bandaid on his left hand. Repetitive motion eases his anxiety. Important emotional conversations aren’t his strong suit, but he needs Happy to hear what he has to say. 

Happy scares him, but he needs to face that fear in order to help his friends. This team, his family means everything to him, and he’d do anything to help them. 

“If you’re going to talk about what I think you’re going to talk about, then no.” Happy’s gruff response had been expected, but Sylvester’s palms are still sweating, and he prepares himself for the possibility that he’ll need to dodge a wrench at some point in this conversation. 

“Happy, please. Just listen.” His voice is low, and he’s mindful of the other people still in the garage. 

She looks up from her work at him, pressing her palms against the surface of her desk and squaring her shoulders. He doesn’t have to be Toby to know she’s gone on the defensive. Sylvester takes her shift in posture as permission to talk. 

“You and Toby have to work this out.” He states it like a fact, like there isn’t another option. Even in emotional situations, his mind relies on the facts of the matter. 

Happy’s face is blank, but her shoulders slump slightly, almost like she’s defeated. 

It’s another messy conversation that Happy doesn’t want to be having. She’s had too many talks like this in the past week. 

“How exactly do you expect me to do that? He wants us to be friends, I’m going to give him what he wants.” Happy is angry, but she’s angry at no one but herself, and even she knows taking out on Sylvester isn’t the right thing to do. He’s only trying to help. Her face softens at the look in his eye. 

“You have to try, Happy. Toby loves you so much. I still don’t think that you realize that he’d do anything for you. I don’t know how to tell you to fix it, but just please try. Toby is never giving up hope, and neither should you.” Sylvester's voice is shaky, and his nervousness only grows when Happy takes a full minute to reply. 

“I don’t know if I can fix it.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. She hates being this vulnerable, and Sylvester hates seeing her this way. He wants the Happy he’s scared of back. 

“This is Toby we’re talking about. He’s been obsessed with you for years.” Sly isn’t walking away until he’s convinced Happy to work this out. 

“Then why did he want us to just be friends?” Happy says, determination returning to her features. 

Sylvester looks down, away from her piercing eyes. Maybe he doesn’t really want the Happy that scares him back. 

“He’s hurt. Pain is impairing his judgement. He once told me that he can’t just be friends with you, he said he was addicted to you. If he said he wants to be friends, he’s just trying to trust you again. It’s going to take time, but he’ll forgive you. You guys will be okay again.” Once again, he’s stating nothing but what he believes are facts. There is no doubt in his mind that Happy and Toby can move past this. He knows how badly Happy has hurt Toby, but he knows how deeply they love each other. Sylvester doesn’t know how much worse it’s going to get, but it always gets worse before it gets better. 

Happy’s looking at him, sincerity taking over her expression. Happy knows that Sylvester isn’t the best at these emotional conversations, and she knows how intimidating it must be to have this kind of talk with her.

“Why are you doing this?” She asks, taking a deep breath. 

Sylvester smiles just a little. 

“I’m doing this because I care about you, and I care about Toby, and I want you to remember how much the two of you care about each other.” His voice raises slightly, with the assurance that only comes when he talks about Megan. “Happy, I lost the love of my life, the only person I’ll ever be in love with. I’m just trying to help so that doesn’t happen to you. You might feel like you’ve lost Toby right now, but you have the chance to get him back, a chance I’ll never get.” His eyes grow sad, and he starts to peel at his bandage ring again. 

“Look, Sly. I really appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I still don’t know if I can get him back.” Her tone had started out strong and determined, but her sentence finishes pained and sad, emotions she’d become familiar with again during the past week. 

Sylvester shoots her his signature crooked grin. 

“You’re Happy Quinn. You can do anything.” 

Sylvester walks away, and she almost lets herself feel hopeful. 

Then her phone rings. 

It’s kind of late, and she’s instantly worried. 

“Hello?” She answers tentatively, preparing for the worst and afraid of what’s to come. 

“I need to speak to Happy Quinn.” A deep male voice rang in her ear. 

“I’m Happy Quinn.” She says, the words rushing out of her mouth anxiously. 

“Ms. Quinn, your father is in the hospital.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill us... But feel free to yell, scream, and curse our names in the comments.


	7. Chapter 7

Toby’s head snaps up when he hears metal clattering at Happy’s desk. Without a word to anyone, she gets up and stalks out the door, staring at her phone with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. Definite stress and worry markers.

As soon as she’s out of sight he stands up; if he leaves right now he might be able to flag her down.

“I’m just gonna…” He glances around the garage. Walter looks like he might protest, but Paige cuts cleanly across him before he can even open his mouth.

“Call if you need us, Toby,” she says, gesturing to the door. Toby nods at her, and he’s gone in seconds, trying to breathe through the stab of worry that’s hitting his chest.

He gets outside just in time to see Happy’s bike zoom off to the left. He’ll never be able to catch up to her, but he has an idea of where she might be headed. Besides the people currently gathered in the garage, only one person could put that look of sheer panic on Happy’s face—her father. If something is wrong with Patrick, Toby thinks, Happy would have either turned right, toward his shop, or left, toward the hospital.

Of course, Toby makes these assumptions based on what he knows about Happy, which apparently isn’t nearly as much as he’d thought.

He shakes the thought away, because now isn’t the time, and pulls onto the highway after her.

“We are friends,” he says out loud to himself, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. “A friend would check on another friend if she suddenly stormed out of the office. Normal friendly behavior.”

He arrives at the hospital in record time, but still isn’t fast enough to catch Happy. As he approaches the front desk, he finds two grumbling nurses and a jar of pens upended onto the floor.

“Did a small angry woman happen to—“

“Room 218.” The nurse points down the hall toward the elevator, scooping up the rest of the pens with narrowed eyes.

“Right. Thank you!” Toby calls over his shoulder, already power-walking down the hallway. He eventually finds Patrick Quinn’s bed in a semi-private room, his curtain drawn tightly closed.

Toby reaches out to pull it back, but Happy’s voice stops him.

“I know they said you’re going to wake up soon,” he hears her say. “But, can you make it really soon? Because this is an awful cherry on top of the worst week of my life.”

There’s a pause. Toby uses it to flip through Patrick’s chart until he hears Happy sniff.

“Of course, you’re in a hospital unconscious and I’m talking about me. God, I suck.”

Her voice cracks and Toby wants nothing more than to pull her close.

“All I’ve done this week is talk, Dad. I think you know I don’t do that. But I guess this is where not talking has gotten me. Toby...I screwed up really bad with Toby. Maybe for good this time. And I wanted everything to be right with us.” She sighs. “But I would really appreciate it if you’d wake up soon, Dad, because I can’t stop talking and I hate it. I talk and talk and all I do is make things worse.”

Toby lifts his hand to the curtain, ready to pull it back and stop Happy from torturing herself any more. But her next words stop him in his tracks.

“I just never should have married him in the first place.”

He pulls his hand back, holding his breath.

“I knew all along that it wasn’t right. But he was all I had.”

Toby hears another sniffling noise. When Happy speaks again her voice is even softer.

“It’s just a piece of paper. It was never supposed to matter.”

It’s quiet behind the curtain for a while, and Toby thinks it would probably be safe to go in. But he waits a little longer, to be sure Happy won’t know he’s been listening.

He goes to get coffee, processing things as he goes. Ever since Happy’s confession he’s had nothing but questions, and now he just has more. A _husband._ Who is it, and where is he now? Why the secrecy all these years?

“No point,” he mutters to himself. “She’ll tell me when she tells me.”

Patrick’s curtain is still quiet when he gets back. Slowly, he pulls it aside and peers in, giving Happy time to react. She stiffens at the rustle of the curtain, every muscle in her body coiled tight. When she sees it’s Toby, she doesn’t relax much, and he’s glad that the coffee is decaf.

“Thought you might need some coffee,” he offers quietly, holding out the cup. Happy sips once and puts it aside.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Had a hunch.” Toby glances at Patrick. His color looks good, as do his vitals. At his age, Toby would expect him to make a relatively fast recovery. But he’s sure the doctor has already told Happy this, and for once he doesn’t pull out the Harvard MD card. She needs a friend, not a doctor. Happy looks back down at her father; she hasn’t once let go of his hand.

“You didn’t have to come here, Doc.”

“I wanted to.” He offers her a small smile. “I had to make sure you were okay.”

Happy’s smile is watery. She twitches her hand toward Toby, like she wants to touch his arm, but she drops it down to her side at the last moment. Toby sighs, unspeakably tired all of a sudden, and pulls a chair up next to her.

“He had a heart attack,” she tells him, clearing her throat. Toby doesn’t tell her that he already knows. “He’d just finished working on some guy’s car, and the customer just happened to be there to call 911.”

“But he’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah.”

They’re quiet for a while. Toby stays until he sees Happy start to nod off a little bit, the now-empty coffee cup still in her hand. No one had come to inform them about visiting hours; Toby guesses that Happy had scared the staff enough to give her free run of the place.

He goes out to find an extra pillow. Happy’s halfway asleep when he gets back, her knees tucked up to her chest in the chair. It’s still early in the evening, but the exhaustion of the week has to be catching up with her. Toby places the pillow behind her head, maneuvering it so that she doesn’t have to let go of Patrick’s hand. He can’t resist stroking his hand down her hair, just once, and leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“I’m going to head out,” he whispers. Because friends don’t pull friends into each other’s laps and let their heartbeats sync. No matter how badly he wants to, he tamps down the urge. “Let me know if you need anything.”

She nods, gazing blearily up at him.

“Thanks, Doc.”

“Any time.”

* * *

 

 

A rustling sound rouses her, much later. Happy stirs awake to find Patrick doing the same.

“Happy.”

Her father’s voice is raspy, but there’s a smile on his face as he blinks slowly up at her. Happy leans toward him, relief flooding through her.

“Dad,” she breathes. “What do you need, how are you feeling? Uh, I can get a nurse—“

“You look just like your mom, sweetie,” Patrick says, a little dreamily. Clearly the meds are still coursing through his system. “Just like her.”

Happy can’t speak. All week she’s been looking for something to give her even a minute of peace, something that will quiet the storm in her mind. Now, she finds it in the warmth in her father’s eyes and the pressure of his fingers squeezing against hers.

Maybe later, she thinks, one more talk wouldn’t be so bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Papa Quinn, how we love you <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marissa is on vacation this week, and she wrote us some sweet Papa Quinn before she left :) Enjoy the feels! And thanks again for sticking with us and offering your feedback, we love you all <3
> 
> \--Maggie

Patrick is weak, tired, and overall a miserable patient, but now he’s finally able to trade the cold, sterile hospital for the familiar warmth of his own home.

Happy drives him home, obeying the speed limit for once in her life, being careful, and driving as cautiously as she ever has.

“Why are you driving like a grandma?” Patrick asks, his voice low but playful.

“I don’t want to give you another heart attack.” She mutters, smiling at him and employing the Quinn brand of dark humor that she’d inherited from the man sitting next to her.

By the time they get out of the truck and into Patrick’s living room, Happy realizes she isn’t exactly good at this sort of thing. She’s taken care of herself for years, but it isn’t until she awkwardly stands next to the couch her father is helplessly lying on that she realizes she had no idea how to take care of anyone else.

She can think of someone who is really good at taking care of people. He’d even told her to call if she or Patrick needed anything. He really is too good to her.

Patrick seems to sense her discomfort and uncertainty.

“Hap, I’m fine. Go home.” He reaches up from the couch and lightly grabs her hand, giving her a warm smile. There was a time that her father holding her hand was all she wanted, then a time that she would have angrily swatted him away. But now, her dad just seems comforting and grounding, serving as a gentle reminder of who she really is.

“Do you mind if I stay for a while?” Happy needs the peace of mind that seeing him safe again would bring.

He looks at her like she’s actually crazy for wanting to stay with him.

“Stay if you want, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.” His voice trails off at the end. The relationship between Happy and her father has progressed by leaps and bounds since their reconciliation, but sometimes Patrick’s self-hatred breaks through and Happy has to remind him that he doesn’t have to be sorry anymore.

Happy plants herself into the chair across the room, resting her elbows on her knees and gazing at her dad.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick turns his head to face her.

At first, all Happy wants to do is deny. It’s instinctive. The words “nothing’s wrong” and “I’m fine” usually just slip their way out of her mouth without preamble. But she needs to talk to someone, and her father is the perfect someone.

Apparently she was staying too quiet for too long, because a voice broke through the haze of her thoughts.

“Your mom used to do that all the time. She’d get lost in her own mind and stare off into space. I always wanted to know what she thought about when she looked like that.” He turns away and stares at the ceiling.

“I can tell something’s on your mind, Happy.”

Happy wants to be able to crack a joke and tell him that there’s always something on her mind. She wants to be able to have one of their normal, light-hearted conversations about car parts. The deepest conversations she has with her father are the retrospective monologues about her mother, and she desperately wants to keep it that way, but she knows she needs to talk about this. Patrick is the one person who might actually hear her out and not immediately turn against her.

“Toby.” She wants to explain everything, but her throat closes up and her mouth runs dry. The only thing that she manages to breathe out is his name.

“What about Toby?” Patrick speaks softly, like he’s afraid to set her off.

Happy had almost thought that Patrick would assume Toby did something wrong, and immediately rush to defend her. His level voice and soft expression prove otherwise. It’s a harsh reality to face; even Patrick knew that Toby would never hurt her. The thought of the last time Toby hurt her, the only time he’d ever hurt her, surges through Happy. She’d thought that stupid failed date had hurt. That was a paper cut; this is a bullet wound. She still thinks it might be fatal.

“I made a mistake.” She takes a deep, leveling breath and stays silent for a few moments, trying to find the right words.

“I made a mistake, and I don’t know if he’ll be able to forgive me.”

Patrick scoffs. He actually scoffs, like that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

“Have you ever seen the way that boy looks at you?” Patrick shakes his head, and Happy can practically see the memories write themselves across his face. She knows he’s remembering the time that he used to look at someone like that.

“The way he looks at me doesn’t matter.” She sighs, beginning to get frustrated, as she always does when talking about emotionally challenging topics. “I broke his heart. I’m not sure I’d forgive him if the roles were reversed.”

Patrick just stares at her for a while, like he’s waiting for more information before he decides on what to say.

Happy wants to tell him that she kept a huge secret from everyone, especially Toby. She wants to tell him that keeping the secret wasn’t the worst part. Keeping this from Toby wasn’t the only devastating mistake. But eventually, after a few minutes of opening her mouth to speak and then promptly closing it again, she realizes she isn’t going to be able to talk about this, at least not in detail. Happy wouldn’t be able to bear to see the disappointed look in her father’s eyes when she tells him what she’d done.

At some point, Patrick understands that he isn’t getting more information, so he prepares himself to speak again. He hasn’t had many opportunities to do this. He hasn’t had many chances to help her in any way, to be her father. Patrick doesn’t know how many more he’s going to get, so he’s making this one count.

“Did you forgive me for what I did to you?” Patrick asks quietly. He’s choosing his words very carefully.

“Yeah.” Happy replies, not understanding what that has to do with her current situation.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my father.” She looks away from his eyes.

“That’s not the point.” He shakes his head, sitting up just enough to show how serious he is. “Happy, if you can forgive me for what I did, Toby can forgive you for whatever you did. You didn’t just forgive me just because I’m your father. You forgave me because you wanted to. If you both put effort into it, you’ll be okay. There is nothing you can do that’ll make Toby stop loving you.”

He speaks with strong finality, and Happy knows he means what he says. Her father truly believes that Toby will forever love her unconditionally. For some reason, knowing that her father believes in her, and believes in Toby’s ability to forgive her, floods Happy with relief, and fills her veins with determination.

“Thanks, Dad.” Happy smiles at him. Patrick smiles back, and the glazed over moony expression takes over his face. Usually, any time she sees that look, Happy knows that a speech about her mother is on its way. He never stops talking about her, and she never gets tired of listening. These constant walks down memory lane help Happy paint a picture of the mother she never got to meet. Patrick’s unwavering devotion to Grace made Happy wonder if Toby would be the same way if they were in that situation.

“Your mom was better at this than I am. At talking about feelings and giving advice, I mean.” Patrick seems to stumble awkwardly over his words.

“She was the best listener. The kind of person that would do anything to help anyone else, a natural-born mother. She had always acted like a mother, from the moment I met her. Always taking care of the people she loved.” His voice trails off, lost in memories.

Happy is silent for a while as she thinks over what her father said. Patrick seems to relax, and Happy remembers that he probably needs to rest. She gets up from her chair and leans over the couch again, kissing his forehead.

“Do you need anything else before I go?” She asks quietly, looking around the room.

He rolls his eyes. She’s noticed that he does that a lot.

“I’m fine.”

Those two words she’s been saying her whole life, the words that are almost always a lie, send a new wave of thoughts through her brain. One sticks out to her, in a strikingly familiar voice.

_He’s almost as stubborn as you, sweetheart._

That voice had been haunting her thoughts a lot lately. Sometimes it seems like his snide remarks and the flirtatious nicknames he used to call her are all that fill her brain.

It’s almost as if they’re okay again, but only in the confines of her brilliant mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued support, y'all! We can't thank you enough for all the encouragement over the past month or so, and we hope you enjoy what's to come! And as always, please feel free to let us know what you think or find us on Tumblr :)

It’s most awkward in the mornings, always.

In the mornings, when Toby first walks into the garage and sees her, he always has this split second of bitter frustration. It drives him insane to know she’s kept him in the dark, and he gets caught up in thoughts of what’s fair and right, how things should have been handled. But he wrangles it into its box and tells himself _it is what it is._

This particular morning, he approaches his desk to find a Kovelsky’s coffee waiting there. He takes a sip—hazelnut. It’s delicious.

“How’s your dad?” he asks Happy after another, longer sip.

“Better.” She’s doing something at her desk, but she pauses her work to talk to him, something she never would have done before. “I told him what you said about cutting down on red meat.”

“And?”

“He laughed at me.”

He and Happy grin at each other; it’s tentative but it feels okay. They’ve ended up being better at the “just friends” thing than Toby had expected. Their former banter has all but disappeared, but they’ve found a rhythm that works.

“Sounds like he’s as stubborn as you.”

Happy’s eyes widen slightly; if Toby hadn’t been finely tuned to her every movement, he might not have even noticed. She looks like she might reply, but in the end she just softens her smile and goes back to her project. Toby doesn’t try to draw out the moment; these days, he takes whatever comes.

The coffee is an interesting touch, though. Toby sips and lets himself mull it over as Cabe strides into the garage, chugging his own Kovelsky’s.

“Look alive, gang,” he calls. “A call just came in. We’ve got a bomb threat, suspected terrorist activity, but not much else to go on at this stage.”

It’s a whirlwind after that, as always. Toby’s on autopilot as they load into the vans and speed down to the building. Paige, Cabe, and Walter make a beeline for the guards, and before long they’ve set up shop in the security office.

The building’s been mostly evacuated, so it doesn’t take long for Toby to spot their suspect. She’s calm when anyone else would be panicking.

“Huh.”

“What, Toby?” Walter peers over his shoulder at the monitor.

“That woman, there. She doesn’t fit the profile, but that’s our mark for sure.”

The woman’s face is blank, but Toby is looking down at her hands, one of which is holding an object that Toby’s willing to bet is a detonator. The other keeps fluttering over her stomach, and Toby can just barely make out a dot of color on her ring finger.

“Zoom in on her left hand,” he says, settling into his element. Sly adjusts the camera view and Toby punches the air.

“See? Look at that ring.”

“So she has an engagement ring,” says Happy briskly. “That’s relevant how?”

“No, look at it. That’s not a diamond, that’s peridot. No one has a peridot ring unless it’s something significant, like a birthstone.”

Happy raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Or maybe you’re overthinking this.”

He’s defensive in an instant.

“I think I know an engagement ring when I see one,” he bites back.

There is a moment of heavy, horrified silence. Sly looks like he might throw up; Cabe and Walter exchange a glance that says they would gladly jump on top of the bomb rather than be present in this moment.

Toby ignores them and raises an eyebrow at Happy. She’s glaring at him.

“Yeah, well,” she says, her tone dangerous. “So do I.”

“I’m telling you,” Toby goes on, barreling right through the tension, “that ring is important. And look how her hand keeps going back to her stomach. A protection marker.”

Paige pushes past Walter and leans forward.

“When Ralph was born, I saved up for months to buy this ring I saw at the mall. It wasn’t a real sapphire, but it was blue.” She takes a closer look at the woman. “I think Toby’s right. She’s had a baby pretty recently.”

Toby holds back his _Ha_ with tremendous effort. But he lets his eyes do the gloating for him.

“Okay, so she’s got a kid,” Happy huffs. “So what?”

“Why would the mother of a young child put her own life at risk? Unless--”

“Unless she’s being threatened,” Cabe chimes in.

“So if she’s being coerced,” Paige muses, “then it’s possible to convince her to give it up.”

Toby sees where Paige’s mind is going. Walter does too, apparently.

“I know what you’re thinking, Paige, and I can’t allow you to take that kind of risk.”

"Walter, she's scared and young, and completely responsible for another human being. I used to be her. I'm the only one who can do this.” She pauses to place her hand on Walter’s arm. “I have to do this."

“The odds of anyone else negotiating with this woman successfully—“

“You don’t have to tell me, Sly.” Walter heaves out a heavy sigh. “All right. Paige, go find her. The rest of us will be here monitoring you, as well as the rest of the cameras. We’ll have our eyes on you the entire time.”

“I know you will, Walter.” Paige looks as if she wants to say more, but she settles for cupping a hand around Walter’s cheek before making her way down the halls. There isn’t much the rest of them can do at this point but watch and wait for Paige to gather more information. Walter and Sly are both pacing, and Happy can’t seem to stop moving her hands. Toby already regrets his earlier outburst; he wonders if she does too.

“Who are you?” the woman demands of Paige. “Why didn’t you get out with everyone else?”

“I’m here to talk to you,” Paige says.

“You’re a cop, aren’t you?”

“Um. Sort of.”

Their bomber is silent, seemingly pondering her options.

“What’s your name?”

She looks around, like she can feel someone’s eyes on her.

“Ashley.”

Her first name was all Paige was going to get, but she could work with it. She’s slowly gaining Ashley’s trust.

“What about family, Ashley? Who do you go home to at night?”

She looks down at her hand again. “I have a little boy.”

Paige smiles, and so does Toby; she’s in her element now.

“I have a son, too,” she says kindly. “He’s going to turn twelve this year. How old is yours?”

“Eight months.” The woman smiles faintly.

“They grow up before you know it. You only get one chance to see it happen. And if you press that button, you won’t get to see any of it.” Paige’s voice is firm. Toby finds himself nodding along with her words.

“This is exactly why we need her with us,” he whispers to Walter. “She’s a natural negotiator.”

“Toby. I was the one that hired Paige in the first place,” Walter replies in his ‘I’m smarter’ voice, but the smitten tilt of his mouth is obvious. Toby just wiggles his eyebrows and turns back to the monitor.

“You don’t understand.” She’s shaking harder now. “If I don’t do this, it’s my son who pays the price. I can’t let that happen.”

“My team and I are with homeland security,” Paige reassures. “We can protect you and your son from anyone, I promise.”

She hesitates, staring at the detonator.

“No matter what happens, I’m still going to jail. My son will lose his only parent. Well, that’s not technically true, his father…” Ashley stops talking abruptly.

“That’s who’s doing this, the dad. Paige, keep her talking about him.” Toby practically yells into Paige’s ear.

“His father? He’s making you do this, isn’t he?” Paige leans close to her, trying to keep her voice low.

Ashley just nods.

“I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.” Her voice breaks, and they can see tears pooling up in her eyes.

“Please. You need to tell me where to find that bomb.”

“No. I can’t,” she says, but Toby isn’t a world-class behavioral analyst for nothing.

“Did you see the way she turned her head? Just for a second, behind Paige and down the hall. ” Toby’s voice is firm and confident.

“Ashley, we’re going to get him. I won’t let him hurt you, or your baby.”

“Paige, agents are on their way to pick up the baby at his sitter’s, and we found a series of emails and texts that prove Ashley and her son were threatened. We’re trying to track the dad down now. We’re almost there.” Walter’s voice sounds desperate through the comms. The last part sounds like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was her.

“We have proof that you’re being threatened, and agents are on their way to your son. Now, I know the bomb is somewhere down that hall, and I might even be able to find it, but this will work out a lot better for you if you just tell me where it is. We can all make it out of here, just tell me where the bomb is.”

Ashley starts to cry; partly in relief, Toby suspects, and partly because she doesn’t know for sure that they’ll all be okay.

“First door on the right.”

Paige leaves Ashley and runs down the hall. She reaches the room and hesitates before opening the door.

“Be careful. There could be a trip wire on that door.” Happy speaks gently, trying to warn Paige without scaring her.

“How will I know?” Paige had backed completely away from the door.

“Just open the door as slowly as you can, once the knob turns all the way there will be a click, if you don’t hear a click, you’re fine.” Happy has been around Toby long enough to learn how to keep her voice steady in a panicky situation. He can’t help but feel a little proud as he looks over at her.

They hear the door creak, and Paige takes a deep breath.

“No click.”

They all breathe a sigh of relief as Paige enters the room.

“Guys, the bomb doesn’t have a dead man’s switch, she’d just have to press the button to detonate it. As long as it doesn’t have a timer, we can leave the detonator and call in the bomb squad.”

Then she looks up at the security camera.

“Get everyone else out of the building. That means you guys too.”

“Paige, I’m not—“ Walter starts to speak, but Paige cuts him off.

“No. Get out. Now. All of you.” Her tone is as firm as they’d ever heard it. They can only watch as she steps into one of the only camera blind spots in the building.

They all start to leave, and Toby ends up having to pull Walter away.

“Everyone’s out of the building. Paige, get out of there,” he says frantically.

She doesn’t reply. The only response they get is an earth-shaking blast from behind them.

Toby thinks that he should be used to explosions by this point in his career. But when he hears the blast and Paige still isn’t back, he feels as if his heart might jump up his trachea. It’s anatomically impossible, of course, but the imagery works. Her comm remains silent as the dust settles.

Meanwhile, Walter is inconsolable.

“Paige?” He’s frantic, and clearly talking to no one but himself. “No no no not Paige, not when I just-”

Walter trails off, fisting fingers through his hair. Toby glances over at Happy to find her looking back at him. She blinks once and continues staring, her gaze _full_ as she look at him. Toby lets his eyes take in every facet of her face; he’s reminded of pulling her out of the water a half dozen times, trudging through a blizzard after her.

Walter’s as incoherent as either of them have ever seen him, but in this moment Toby knows that they both understand him perfectly.

“She probably can’t hear you, Walt,” he says eventually. “Being that close to the blast, her eardrums could have been damaged. It’s best to stay quiet and watch for her.”

Walter nods, for once having no retort ready, and the silence is excruciating. Sly’s biting at his lips, Cabe’s fists are clenched tightly by his sides, like he’s ready to strike.

When they hear Paige cough over their comms, Walter’s knees buckle.

“Paige.” He’s just able to breathe out her name.

“Paige? Are you okay? Where are you?” Toby realizes that he has to be the rational one. Walter has been rational in every near-death experience, when Toby was only focused on Happy, and now that Walter is only focused on Paige, it’s Toby’s turn. It’s the least he can do.

“I’m fine. Just hanging out in a bush.” Paige, says, knowing her humor will relax Walter.

“Why are you in a bush?” Sylvester asks.

They still have no idea where she is.

I jumped out the window when I realized I didn’t have time to get to the door. There was a timer on the bomb after all.”

Walter sprints over to the side of the building, pulling Paige forcefully up from the ground. By the time everyone else gets there, Paige is safely tucked in Walter’s arms.

“Ease up, Walt. She’s probably bruised.” Toby’s full of it, he knows he’d be doing the same thing in this situation.

“Is everyone else okay?” Paige asks as she separates from Walter.

“Security had time to clear the building, and we turned over the blackmailing evidence to Homeland, so they should be clear to let Ashley go.” Cabe answers like he’s writing a report.

“What about the baby?” Paige’s maternal instincts take over.

“At the garage with his sitter and a Homeland agent,” says Sylvester with a smile.

“Let’s go home.” Walter said, never letting go of Paige.

 

* * *

 

The relief of having Paige safe brings quiet over the team as they return to the garage. Walter is still glued to her side; for once, he’s not running an analysis of what they’d done right and wrong.

They all end up taking turns playing with the baby, even Happy. She can’t help but smile as she bounces him up and down--and she sees Toby’s attempts not to stare at her.

Ashley finally arrives, after Homeland releases her, and gladly takes her son back.

“We got him. He’s never going to bother you or your son again.” Cabe says, placing a hand on Ashley’s shoulder.

“I can never thank you guys enough.” Ashley looks down at the little boy in her arms, tearing up again. Everyone says goodbye to the adorable baby that they’d all instantly loved, and all too soon it’s just the team again.

“I want to go home and hold my son,” Paige says after hugging them all goodbye. She turns to Walter. “Come by later?”

He nods so enthusiastically that Happy almost laughs. It’s nice to see Mr. 197 finally getting his act together.

She looks around. Toby’s been as quiet as the rest of them, which is strange, and he’s currently at his desk shuffling papers around. Toby never does paperwork right after a case; he waits until the last possible second. Happy wonders what exactly it is he’s trying to avoid.

She watches him for another minute or so. Before Paige, Toby had been their only member with any sort of knack for negotiation. It could so easily have been Toby going down in her place. The thought sends a stab of fear through her chest. Even though they’ve both come close to dying dozens of times, the thought of it happening like _this…_

Her feet are moving before she even realizes it.

“Doc-”

“Thank you for the coffee earlier,” Toby says pointedly, in a way that even Happy can read.  _I don't want to talk. Back off._

She doesn’t.

“Toby.”

He finally stops moving, and Happy shifts to catch his eye.

“You aren’t just my friend.”

She says it so quietly that she barely hears herself. Toby’s face is blank, but Happy knows where else to look. She sees his hands shaking just slightly, his body angled toward her. These are good signs; there’s something there underneath the front he’s trying to put up.

Happy takes the leap.

“You never will be, Toby. I love you.”

They’re so close that Happy can see the breath stutter in his chest. But she takes a step even closer. It had been surprisingly easy to say, even like this. Toby’s eyes are softer now as they lock onto hers, and she wants to lean up and kiss him. She wants to take off his hat and feel his curls around her fingers. She wants, she wants. Happy isn’t used to reaching out so far.

After what feels like forever, Toby finally leans toward her. His arms go around her shoulders and Happy melts into him.

“Oh, Happy, I _know,”_ he murmurs into her hair. “I know.”

She clings to him, squeezing her eyes shut tight and feeling their chests rise and fall against each other. His chin comes to rest lightly on top of her head.

“I forgave you a long time ago,” he begins. Happy feels his jaw moving against her head, and she burrows in tighter to his chest as he continues. He’s warm around her, and she refuses to let go until he does.

“A lot sooner than I wanted to, believe me. I was so mad at you, Happy. But being mad at you doesn’t tend to work for me. Not for long, anyway.”

She feels his sheepish laugh.

“And I trust you,” he goes on. “No matter what. If you felt the need to keep this secret, I know there had to be a reason behind it. But you don’t have to do that anymore.” He pulls back, and he looks so earnest that it makes Happy’s chest ache. “Let me carry some of this with you.”

“No.” She tries to smile. “This is my mess, Doc. I want to clean it up myself. Please. It’s...it’s important to me.”

Toby sighs, slowly shifting to rub his hands down her arms. “All right, Happy Freakin’ Quinn. Go do what you’re gonna do.”

“What?”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Nothing. Get some rest tonight, Hap.”

Happy feels a lot colder when they pull apart. She watches him leave along with Cabe and Sly, and then she saunters over to Walter’s desk.

“Walter. I need your help.”

He raises his head to look at her. “Help with what?”

This time there’s no hesitation. “I need help tracking down my husband.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Seth Wyatt.”

It’s all Walter asks for, just his name.

It’s all Happy is going to give him. She may be a decent hacker, but she’d never compare to Walter. The efficient move is to ask him for help. That doesn’t mean it’s the easy move. She can’t even tell Toby about this area of her past, and telling Walter seems unimaginably awkward and painful. So, Happy sticks to bare bones, telling him the only information he needed to find Seth, and Walter doesn’t ask for more. He’s more uncomfortable than she is right now.

“I’m coming up with a few people by that name. Is there anything else you can tell me?”

There’s a lifetime of things she could tell him.

“November 20th, 1986.” She’s standing behind Walter’s chair, looking over his shoulder as he types.

“Got him.” Walter smiles, speaking with smugness in his voice.

Then a picture pops up on the screen, and Happy is facing a person she hasn’t seen in years.

Seth looks different than when Happy last saw him. The Washington driver’s license that was on the screen in front of her was just renewed last month, so the picture is recent. His strawberry blonde hair is longer than it used to be, and more red than she remembers.

Happy used to think that those ice blue eyes were her only safe place. Now, the eyes in the picture seem cold, and seeing them make her long to look into the hazel one’s she actually loves.

He doesn’t just look different, he _feels_ different.

She can’t tell much from the state issued headshot, but Happy can tell he’s wearing a clean, white dress shirt. The man she remembers lived in t-shirts. He never wore anything that formal, not even at their wedding. His eyebrows are furrowed, the way they used to get when he was concentrating on something. It’s the look she’d seen countless times when she’d wake up in the middle of the night to see him still working in a sleep-deprived haze. The bags under his deep set eyes that she used to think were permanent have all but disappeared. Maybe he’s actually sleeping now. Maybe he’s better off without her, happier. She might think so if he was actually smiling. Maybe it’s the opposite; maybe he doesn’t smile much now. That wouldn’t surprise her. Seth never used to smile at anyone but her. But when he did smile, it was like smiling was all he could do. His eyes would crinkle, and the corners of his mouth turning up always drew attention to the light freckles that dusted his cheeks. He always had the most expressive face. Maybe he still does, but in the low-quality photo, his face is blank. His mouth is set in a straight, non-expressive line. His eyes are aimed straight at the camera. If it weren’t for the dress shirt, it might look like a mugshot.

Happy used to consider the man in that photo her home. At one point, years ago, she’d thought the sun rose and set on him. Now, she knows what real love feels like, and she’s never giving up on it.

Apparently, she’s been silently staring at the computer screen for too long, because Walter hands her a piece of paper, and leaves with a muttered “good luck.” She opens the folded note, and finds an address.

Happy still doesn’t want to do this. But if going to Seattle and confronting the last skeleton in her closet means getting Toby back, it’s what she’s going to do.

She walks to her truck, striding with purpose.

Happy takes a minute once she climbs into the truck to compose herself, sitting with both hands on the steering wheel. She’s thinking of what she could say to him, and what he might say back. She can feel the anxiety bubbling up in her chest. Then the only person who’s ever been able to calm her down flashes across her mind. She takes a deep breath and puts the car in drive.

She’s on her way to Seth, the husband she hasn’t seen in years.

Happy really just wants to get this over with. Half of her wants to be on the first flight to Seattle, but the other half, the rational half, realizes it’s late and there’s no point in going tonight.

Unfortunately, she’s going to have to go back to her empty apartment and try to sleep, knowing that the image of the new Seth will mix with all of their old memories, creating a dangerous brew of buried feelings.

Walter knows where she’s going, and she knows he’ll keep that information between them. The rest of the team, especially Toby, will be suspicious after she doesn’t show up for work today. But she’ll be back tomorrow, hopefully with some closure.

* * *

 

  
Happy listens to Toby’s playlist on the plane. She might say she hates it, but she could never hate something that was so purely and perfectly Toby. Right now the music is screaming through her headphones, just as loud as it needs to be to drown out her thoughts. It’s easing her mind and reminding her of a time that was easier, a time before they’d crumbled.

The playlist ends just as the flight does, and suddenly she’s on her way to see him.

She doesn’t really know how she’s supposed to do this. It’s common knowledge that she’s really bad at emotional things like what’s about to happen. If there was a book about showing up at your husband's house when you haven’t seen him in years, she’d read it cover to cover. She takes a deep breath and starts to give herself a mental pep talk. She tells herself that she can do this. Happy’s found a family, made up with her father, and found the person she truly wants to be with. This is the last step. She has to end this part of her past, and move on with her life.

The cab ride is tense, and even Happy can tell she’s being too quiet. The friendly driver keeps asking her questions, but her constant stream of one word answers and the way she’s anxiously staring out the window tell him he should probably shut up.

Once he finally shuts up, there’s only a few minutes of self-reflective silence left until they arrive. Before Happy’s ready, Seth’s building comes into view and she’s stepping out of the cab. The thought of the door opening and being face to face with him is making her feel sick.

“You’re Happy Quinn. You can do anything,” she mutters to herself as she rings the doorbell.

She half wants him to just not be home so she doesn’t have to face him, but she didn’t fly all the way to Seattle to go back without getting this done.

Then the door opens, and he’s right in front of her.

Happy had forgotten how tall he is. She’d always thought that Seth was too tall for her. She’d also forgotten how unapproachable he is, especially now that she’s just shown up unannounced. At first glance, his posture seems relaxed, but his eyes reek of impending awkwardness. He lacks the assured confidence Toby has, the confidence she won’t admit she loves. He’s back to the t-shirt, dressed a little more like she remembers. Whatever Happy thought she was going to feel in this moment, it wasn’t this. There isn’t a trace of familiarity with him.

Seth Wyatt might as well be a stranger. A stranger whose heart she broke.

Right now, he’s staring at her like she has three heads.

“Happy?”

His voice is just as she remembers it, high and scratchy. She finally looks up, craning her neck to meet his eyes.

“Hey, Seth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. Chapter 11

Before Happy can even begin to start the speech she’s rehearsed, a giant German Shepherd comes flying at her. She braces for a split second before she’s tackled by the barking, furry blur. The dog is nearly as tall as Happy, but she thinks its barks sound cheerful, so she’s not too alarmed. She tries to push its front paws off her waist and onto the ground.

“Whoa, dude,” she says, grinning a little bit despite herself. “Calm down.”

The dog just wags its tail harder and licks at Happy’s face. Seth watches on, looking much less excited.

“I’m really pissed that you showed up here,” he says to her bluntly, “but Donnie likes you, so I guess you can come in.”

Happy swallows, wondering for the millionth time if this trip was another mistake.

“Donnie?” she asks casually, like this is normal and she’s totally confident. Donnie perks up even more at the sound of his name.

“Donatello.” Seth leads them inside. Happy shuts the door behind them as she follows.

“Oh right, the ninja turtle.”

Seth looks at her like she’s a child.

“The sculptor.”

Happy feels incredibly small as she looks around his living room, taking in the projects and tools strewn around. Of course Seth would choose Donatello the man, not the turtle. It amazes her that she’d forgotten something so huge about him.

Happy had never understood his artwork. To her, Seth’s pieces just looked like piles of twisted metal and machine parts. But to him, there was something profound there that no one could grasp but him.

He’s expanded his skill set, Happy notices, to include wood and clay. But it’s clear that he still works mostly with metal. Unconsciously, she reaches out to inspect the welding job on one of the smaller pieces. It’s beautiful, clean and seamless.

“It’s not finished yet,” he says quietly, behind her.

“Course not,” she murmurs. It’s all starting to come back to her. Happy had met Seth when they were sixteen; how many times since then had she heard him say those exact words? None of his work ever seemed to be quite perfect enough to satisfy him.

“Good to see you still know your way around a blowtorch, though.”

“My professors always asked who taught me to weld.” He shrugs. “Didn’t know how to tell them it was my wife.”

“Seth, I-”

“How is it that you haven’t changed at all?” he says loudly, with a little humorless laugh. “This is like looking back in time.”

_When he asked her out for the first time, it was easy to say yes. Dating hadn’t been on her radar much up to that point, but Seth was cute and she liked talking to him. He was the only person on earth that she didn’t have to dumb herself down for. It seemed like a logical step forward. They were still best friends, except now he walked her to every class and they got to make out in the supply closets. Really, it was a good arrangement. And Happy found it amazing how things changed at school. Seth wasn’t exactly popular or a jock or anything, but now that she had a boyfriend, it was like she had a protective force field around her. The guys who used to harass her in shop class backed off completely, and her cheerleader lab partner didn’t look at her like she was an alien anymore. People were just...nicer. Happy didn’t mind it._

_It didn’t seem to bother Seth that she never said “I love you” back to him._

_“You can say it when you want to,” he’d say with his crooked smile. “And you’ll want to eventually.”_

_Happy would think about that for a long time after, and wonder if he was right._

“How did you figure out where I live?”

Happy blinks back to the present. Seth is rubbing a hand over his face; his eyes look heavy, Happy thinks, and somehow older than she’d expected from his picture.

“I might have had help. It’s not like you’re all over social media.”

“Could say the same about you,” he says in that awful, clipped tone. “I tried to find you for a while, after you left, but it didn’t work so well. And it’s not like a twenty year old kid could afford a private eye. So there I was, agonizing over what I could have possibly done wrong to drive you away.”

“Nothing, Seth,” Happy sighs. “You didn’t drive me away, I just-”

“But eventually,” he says loudly, cutting across her, “I realized I was wasting my time. You’re Happy Quinn, for God’s sake. If you’d wanted to come back to me, you would have. So I moved up here and put it behind me.”

The temperature in the room seems to drop as his voice turns accusing. Happy stands up straight and squares her shoulders, but no words come to her mind. Nothing seems adequate to cover what she’d done, that last night they’d lived together as husband and wife. She hadn’t even been original about it; she’d just snuck out while Seth had slept in their bed, unsuspecting. She’d changed her phone number and moved to the other side of the city. The worst cliche in the world.

Just then, a cold, wet nose nudges against her hand. Donnie’s looking up at her, four paws on the floor this time, his tongue hanging out the side of his open mouth. Happy scratches his ears and Donnie thumps his tail on the floor, looking up at her like she’s the most wonderful person on earth.

It’s probably stupid that she feels grateful, that it gives her that little bit of strength she needs. Happy helps herself to Seth’s couch, sitting on the far end while Donnie hops up to stretch out beside her.

“There’s a reason I’m here.”

“Oh, I’m sure there is.”

She sighs. “Seth. I need a divorce.”

“Well, that I could have guessed,” he says, and Happy can see his cheeks start to flush as his anger mounts. “You came to my door after eight years of _nothing_ to tell me that? Happy, you could have had papers served to me any time you wanted. Why the _hell_ would you come here-”

“Because I wanted to apologize to you, okay?” she bursts out. “What I did was...horrible, and wrong, and you didn’t deserve it. And I should have said all this a long time ago, but I was too scared to face up to the way I acted. Scared and selfish, I guess.”

There’s a long, agonizing silence.

“Well,” he says. “That’s all true. But why now?”

Happy curls her fingers into Donnie’s collar. This is where things get even trickier.

“I...met someone.”

Seth finally sits down, in the chair across from her.

“Really.”

“Yeah. It’s...serious. Or, it was serious. He proposed to me.”

Happy can tell Seth’s kind of amused to hear this.

“Oh yeah? How’d that go?”

In another lifetime she would have punched him.

“Let’s just say it was a disaster.”

“And he’s okay with you dropping by here to see me.”

Her silence is all the answer Seth needs.

“You didn’t tell him. Now that’s a classic Happy Quinn move.”

His bitter, barking laugh is too much.

“Okay, you know what?” she snaps. “I don’t need you telling me I’m doing this wrong. I know I’ve screwed up a lot with people, and I don’t know how to fix my screwups most of the time. Yes, I could have filed you papers from home, but after all this time it didn’t seem fair to you. I wanted to face up to this, in person, so we could both have our questions answered.” She takes a deep breath. “And yes, I could have told Toby all about you. Maybe I should have. But I could never look him in the eyes and admit that the reason I’m still married is because I’m a giant coward.”

To her absolute horror, she feels tears pricking at her eyes. She furiously swallows them down.

“I should have just told you things weren’t working for me. I realize that. And I should have known it would be less painful for both of us in the long run. But I’m not a genius when it comes to relationships. Who would have thought, right?”

She looks over at Seth for any kind of feedback, any indication that he’s hearing what she’s saying.

“In my head, I thought it would be better if I was just gone, and then we could skip the whole breakup conversation, and I wouldn’t have to see your reaction. I...I really did...care about you so much, and I couldn’t make myself look at you while I caused you that pain.” She swipes at her eyes. “I don’t _want_ to make people miserable.”

Happy feels like she’s rambling. Her head pounds; there’s a reason she normally keeps all of this bottled up.

“Long story short,” she says, feeling defeated, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I thought it was the right thing to clear the air with you before I told Toby everything. But every time I try to clean up one mess I’m creating another one.”

He’s quiet. Happy has gotten so used to Toby’s constant energy (and the energy of the whole team, for that matter) that she’s forgotten what it’s like to talk with Seth, who considers every word so carefully before he lets it out.

“This guy must be something else, if you’re suddenly willing to tie up this loose end”—he gestures between them—“for him.”

Happy stares at him. She’s walked across actual minefields that felt less perilous than this conversation.

“He used to joke about how I’m cold and heartless like metal. And believe me, I get it,” she says, gesturing down at herself, “but I didn’t want him to know how true it really is. How do you tell the person you want to marry that you’re capable of something like this?”

Seth leans forward, enough that Happy could count the freckles that dust his cheeks.

“As much as it pains me to say this to you right now,” he begins, “you’re not cold, and you’re not heartless. Even after all this time I know that about you. And...I think a part of me knew you were going to change your mind someday. Happy, you could have just talked to me.”

“I was scared,” she mumbles. “It would have been messy.”

“Messier than _this?”_

He does that thing again, flinging his hand between the two of them as if to encompass everything that’s happened—everything that should have happened—over the past decade.

“I really loved you, you know.”

Happy shuts her eyes.

“Seth. We were kids.”

“Genius kids,” he reminds her. “I want to ask you something, Happy.”

“Fair enough.”

“If you hadn’t met this guy and wanted to marry him, would you ever have come to say all this to me?”

Happy’s stomach clenches tight. The familiar instinct to run, avoid, deny is screaming at her, even now. But she hadn’t come all this way just to run away again.

“No. Honestly, no. I would have just kept going on with my life. But we all deserve better than that, so. Here I am.”

She shrugs at him. Seth’s face softens, just slightly.

“I think,” he says carefully, “I might have been wrong before. Maybe you’re not quite the same Happy Quinn I knew.”

“Yeah well. I’m trying to...evolve.” She gives him a wry half-smile. To her surprise, Seth lets the corner of his mouth twitch upward, just slightly. Donnie thumps his tail and snuffles contentedly into her lap.

There’s more to be said, still. Happy can practically see the wheels turning in Seth’s mind, eight years’ worth of anger and confusion that she knows she’ll have to address. But for the first time in a while, Happy thinks she’s exactly where she needs to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'd love to know what questions (if any) you have after reading this chapter, although we can't promise answers just yet :P Riss and I have been looking forward to this point in the story for quite a while now, and we're excited to be here! As always, we hope you enjoy and we really appreciate all of you who read along :)


	12. Chapter 12

_Seth’s arms closed around her, his lips already on hers. Happy was lost in the ever familiar loving kiss that always made a feeling of safety build in her chest. But the uneasy feeling was still present, somehow. She still wasn’t sure if this was what she wanted to do. All she knew was that she was here right now, with him, and Happy was convinced that she’d never love anyone else._

_Marrying him may not have been the best idea, but the hopeful look in his eyes right before he surged toward her and captured her in his arms was too much to deny. She didn’t want to lose Seth. She didn’t think she could._  

“Happy?” Seth’s staring at her with wide eyes, a smile on his face. 

She doesn’t know how long she’s been zoned out, but she’s thought about everything. She’s thought about that day at City Hall, about his torn jeans and her combat boots. Happy’s thought about the look on his face when he said his vows and the peaceful look on the sleeping face she left. Every smile, every fight, every kiss. She’s recounted every second between the first day she spent with a ring on her finger and the last.

Happy had tried to suppress these memories. Toby would have a field day with how in denial she was. But now, she’s coming face to face with those memories, just as she’s come face to face with Seth himself.

“Happy?” He’s repeating himself, she really must have been out of it for a while.

She finally looked up from the floor.

“You used to do that all the time.”

Happy resists the urge to roll her eyes. It seems like he’s said that a thousand times since she walked through his door.

“Do what?”

“Get lost in your own head. Every time you zoned out I’d just watch you, trying to figure out what you were thinking about. I was never able to get in your head.” Now it was his turn to stare at the floor.

“So, how have you been?” Happy needs to change the subject, and they’ve gotten the painful parts over with for now, so maybe it’s time for them to just catch up.

He’s caught off guard, but realizes that he shouldn’t be. Maybe he’s forgotten how abrupt she is.

After he sits there blinking silently for a full minute, Seth sighs, like he doesn’t know where to begin.

“I’ve been working for the same museum since I got here. Lived in the same apartment, had the same dog. Same me, new city.”

Seth has known her well enough to know she doesn’t appreciate small talk. He knows how to be succinct and precise, especially in these kinds of conversations.  

Happy glances around at the room again, noticing just how many pieces of art that Seth had scattered around his apartment.

“Have you sold any of these?” She’s admiring the metalwork on a piece in the far corner.

Seth diverts his eyes to the floor.

“No. They’ve never been good enough to sell.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

Happy rolls her eyes.

“You mean they’ve never been perfect enough to sell.” He’s always been too much of a perfectionist.

Seth looks away again, and the atmosphere shifts. Silent tension fills the air, and it seems their quick moment of casual conversation is over.

“Did you ever date anyone after I left?” She asks the question quietly, thinking that she really didn’t even have the right to ask it at all.

“Married people don’t date.”

Okay, Happy deserves that.

She stays silent, not knowing what to say.

“No. Not seriously, anyway. Some small part of me was hoping you’d come back. I know that was stupid, and illogical, especially considering that I moved over a thousand miles away. That hope may have dwindled, but it’s not completely gone.”

They sit in silence for a minute as Happy thinks of a way to respond. She wishes Paige was here. She’d know just what to say.

“I’d rather talk about you. What have you been up to?” Seth breaks the silence, and Happy couldn’t be more thankful for the subject change.

Except she really doesn’t exactly know where to begin.

“I work with a team of geniuses. We’re government contractors with Homeland Security.”

Seth’s eyes widen almost comically.

“What exactly do you do?”

That’s another thing Happy doesn’t know how to explain.

“We solve problems.”

Seth’s expression is a cross between confused and awestruck.

“Who else is on this team?” Now he’s just curious. Other geniuses had always been fascinating to him.

After sitting through the heaviness of their recent conversations, it’s nice to just be able to talk about her team, to talk about her family.

“Walter is the boss. He has a 197 IQ, and he thinks he doesn’t have feelings.” Seth nods; that’s all she needed to say. He knows the type. He married the type.

“Sylvester is a mathematician. There’s nothing mathematical he can’t do. He’s the youngest, and probably the wisest. He’s not as much of a wreck as the rest of us.”

Seth seems surprised that she’s calling herself a wreck. She’s never been this vulnerable in front of him before. There was always a part of her that she’d never let him see.

“Cabe is the Homeland Agent that got dealt a bad hand and got stuck with us. He thinks he’s our dad. Speaking of dads, I found mine.” She speaks casually, like this isn’t important at all.

“That’s great.” Seth is sending her a genuine smile. He really is such a good guy. Even after everything, he still cares enough to be glad that she fixed a broken piece of her childhood.

She needs to keep talking before she lets herself drown in regrets.

“Paige is the newest addition. She’s not a genius, but her son Ralph is. She helps us deal with emotions, especially Walter. She tries to get us to understand normal people, and she helps normal people understand us.”

“We both know geniuses don’t play well with others.” He’s almost smirking.

Happy doesn’t know what to say at this point, and she starts to zone out again.

“Why do I feel like you’re leaving something out?”

Was she really that easy to read?

Happy realizes she has to tell him; she can’t leave _him_ out.

“Then there’s Toby.” She’s speaking slowly, and she sees Seth tense slightly at his name.

He’s trying not to react. It’s been so long, and he’s over her.

But no matter what, it’s never easy to listen to your wife talk about the other man she fell in love with.

“He’s part of your genius team?” Seth has relaxed a little.

Happy nods.

She takes a minute to think about the right way to describe Toby.

“He’s the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. I call him stupid all the time, but he’s annoyingly smart. A Harvard trained psychiatrist that’s a huge pain in the ass.” Happy’s trying not to smile.

“It’s weird.” Seth’s expression turns more serious.

“What is?” Happy feels like the catching up small talk is over.

“You just called him a pain in the ass, and I can still tell how much you love him.”

Happy doesn’t say anything for a while, the silence not quite awkward, but not quite comfortable either.

“Happy, can I ask you something?” He’s looking at her, but she’s looking at the floor. She feels like she should answer any question he throws at her. She owes him that much, so she nods.

“Why did you leave?”

Happy opened her mouth to speak several times, but once again can’t formulate the right words.

She eventually decides to do what she does best, be brutally honest.

“I loved you, but I wasn’t in love with you. I know that doesn’t explain why I left in the middle of the night, or why I chose that moment to leave, but that’s all I know. I don’t have an explanation for those things. I just know that we weren’t in love, and that’s why I couldn’t stay. ”

_Staring down at Seth’s sleeping face was harder than Happy had imagined it would be. Everything was ready to go, she just had to say goodbye. When Seth woke up, he’d find the note on her pillow that explained her disappearance, and she put everything she needed to say to him in that note. This last goodbye was for her, not for him. Pressing one last kiss to his cheek, she walked out the door, leaving Seth and a small piece of herself behind._

Seth shakes his head slowly.

He knows she’s right, he just doesn’t want to admit it. He’s seen the way she talks about Toby. She’s never talked about him like that, she’s never had that twinkle in her eye with him.

Seth is over her, but this is officially severing the last ties of their relationship.

Now he knows what they have to do.

 

* * *

 

The last time Happy and Seth walked out of the Los Angeles Courthouse, they were starting their lives as husband and wife. Now, they’re walking out to continue their lives, officially separated. 

The papers are signed, and six months from today, they will officially be divorced.

They reach the bottom of the stairs, and the atmosphere is charged with awkwardness.

Right now, Seth and Happy could both walk away and never see each other again. Maybe that’s even what Seth wants to do, but Happy needs to do one last thing first. 

“So what happens now?” Seth asks tentatively, like he doesn’t want to know the answer.

Happy takes a deep breath and decides she should probably just get straight to the point.

“I want you to meet him.”


	13. Chapter 13

Toby opens his front door to find her standing there, wringing her hands and looking a lot like Sylvester.

“Happy?”

As usual, she doesn’t bother with hello.

“After the case, I got on a plane to Seattle to see my husband. Well, in six months he’ll be my ex-husband. We signed the papers today.”

Toby blinks. “Maybe you better come sit down.”

Happy nods. He gestures the couch and she perches on the very edge of the cushion, looking down as her story tumbles out. The way she’d left things with her husband. How young they had met and gotten married, and how they’d eventually separated.

Toby can’t speak at first.

“Uh,” he finally says. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry I took so long. But there were things I had to work out first.”

“I’m still trying to understand. Why did you marry him?”

She sighs, looking exhausted.

“I liked him because he was all I had. I married him because I thought he was all I’d ever have.”

Toby just sits there, blinking back at her. It isn’t like Happy to be cryptic like this.

“Seth was a huge part of my life,” she says. “I was bouncing from one foster family to the next and he was there for me. When nobody else wanted to be, or knew how to be, or whatever. He was loyal and he could hang with me intellectually. When you’re a kid, you think you’ll never find that again.” She shrugs, swallowing hard. “But then I thought...if he was going to be married, he deserved someone who really felt it for him. I didn’t know what it felt like to be in love, but I knew what it didn’t feel like. It wasn’t fair to him or me.”

“And he would have fought you on it if you’d talked to him.”

She nods. “I didn’t think I could get through that fight.”

They sit in silence as Toby processes through the new information. He had been expecting Happy’s story to take a much darker turn. Something that would have really made it impossible for her to resolve things. But he should have guessed that it was something much simpler than that. He should have known that the most powerful barrier for Happy would be admitting to something she was ashamed of.

“I didn’t tell you about it because I was scared,” she whispers. “You saw me as this perfect person, and once you found out I’m not anything like that...”

Toby’s never really seen her like this. Her deadpan tone is the same as ever, but he’s never heard Happy Quinn say, point-blank, that she was afraid of anything.

He has an idea, then, of what he wants to tell her. What she might need to hear.

“Happy.” He places his hands on her shoulders and looks her in the eyes. “Happy, you are a good person.”

He says it slowly, seriously. Her face crumples for a split second and it nearly breaks Toby’s heart all over again. He instinctively puts his arms out, thinking that tears might be next. But she reins it in almost immediately, clinging desperately to composure. He lets his hands fall back to his sides.

“I know that,” she says, a little too quickly.

“I know you know,” he replies, letting her save face just a little bit. “I just wanted to tell you that _I_ know.”

Her whole body sags into the couch.

“Thank you, Doc.”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

Happy shrugs. “I thought this would change how you look at me.”

“Course it does,” he says. “But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

They look at each other for a long moment. Happy eventually reaches out to place her hand lightly over his, as if afraid to touch him like this. Of course, that makes Toby want to tug her forward and kiss her, or at least tell her every thought and feeling that’s crossed his mind since she’s been gone. But things aren’t the same. Toby feels as if he’s learning how to interact with Happy all over again; when to push and when to hold back.

“It’s probably a good thing you’re sitting down,” she says eventually, “because he’s in the car.”

“Say what now?” Toby blinks at her for a second before scrambling to the window. “He’s where?”

“Um. In the car. He came down with me to fill out all the paperwork.”

Toby is still squinting out the window. “And you brought him here.”

She shrugs. “In the interest of transparency, I thought the two of you should meet. I’m serious about this, Toby. No more hiding.”

“You know,” he says, “as far as grand gestures go, this is the weirdest one I’ve ever been a part of.”

They watch as he gets out of the car. He’s got bright ginger hair, and even from this distance Toby can tell he’s tall.

“That’s your husband? Overgrown leprechaun out there?”

Happy just swats his arm.

Toby feels like he’s dreaming as the man--Seth, he remembers--walks up to his door. Happy lets him in and introductions are made. Seth stands up perfectly straight, Toby notices, playing up his height to full advantage. All in all, Toby thinks that Seth wouldn’t look at all out of place brooding out the window of a Seattle coffee shop. He fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“So, you’re on Happy’s genius team,” Seth says, as he glances around the room. “The shrink, right?”

Toby can’t help it; he rolls his eyes so hard that his vision goes blurry for a moment.

“‘Shrink’ is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure Happy told you I’m a Harvard trained M.D.”

“You know,” Seth replies, grinning a little too widely, “I don’t think she mentioned that.”

Happy actually starts blushing when they both turn to look at her; she looks like she’d be perfectly happy if the floor swallowed her whole.

“Okay, then,” Toby replies, more loudly than necessary, “what do you do?”

“I work at the Seattle Art Museum.”

“That’s just his day job, though,” says Happy pointedly.

“Right,” he sighs, looking aside at her. “I’m a sculptor as well. But I don’t normally tell people about my work, because they’d ask me to explain every little thing. And not everyone is...capable of understanding what I do.”

Seth looks down at Toby and raises an eyebrow. Toby opens his mouth to tell this pretentious douchebag where he can shove it, but Happy punches Seth’s arm before he can get the words out.

“Don’t be a jerk,” she tells him. “If that’s even possible for you.”

“It’s okay, Happy. I understand what’s going on.” Toby turns to Seth. “You’ve heard I’m a genius and you feel the need to assert your intelligence in an area you know I’m not familiar with. It’s understandable. Common. A little cliche, even.”

“Oh, ease up with the shrink voice. God, you’re both jerks.”

“Looks like you have a type, Happy.” Seth is grinning, teasing her, but Toby thinks he hears a hint of bitterness in the tone.

“Of course,” Toby goes on, continuing with the “shrink voice” Happy hates so much, “it could also be that you’re taking this opportunity to show Happy what she’s been missing all these years, by goading me into a fight. It could be that you’ve still got lingering feelings for her, and that’s why you never filed any divorce paperwork until now.”

The air in the room seems to tighten. Happy’s eyes are perfectly round as she glances between the two men. Toby just waits.

“Okay. A couple of problems with your psychoanalysis.”

Seth leans on the counter as if he owns the place.

“I guess Happy didn’t tell you I’m a genius too? I’m secure in my own intelligence,” he says, ignoring Toby’s snort. “So I don’t need to compete with you. And the only reason I’m here is because Happy wants _you._ My feelings aren’t exactly relevant anymore.”

“They are, though. Now that I know you exist.”

Seth loses the cocky grin then, and glances up at the ceiling before speaking again.

“I admit I hung on longer than I should have. It was always in the back of my mind that she might decide to come back into my life again. But,” he shrugs, “it’s over for both of us now.”

Seth and Happy look at each other. Seeing the two of them together, Toby can almost imagine a teenage Happy, clinging to an ally in a world where she’d never found one before. It’s a side of her that he had never really imagined he’d know. And he can’t think of a way she could have adequately explained it to him.

He starts to understand why Happy had wanted them to meet. Seth brings her past into focus just a little bit more; he’s the missing piece of the puzzle that is Happy Quinn.

* * *

 

“It’s strange being back in L.A. again.”

“Think you’ll be back any time soon?”

Seth looks back behind him, through the terminal doors. “No. No, I don’t think so.”

He gives her a crooked smile.

“Donnie likes Seattle anyway. It’s too hot for him here.”

Happy smiles back. The past few days haven’t been the easiest, but she can’t deny that in a strange way, it’s been good to see him.

“Hey. Those pieces all over your place.”

“What about them?”

“Do something with them, Seth. Sell them, show them, just do something. They’re too good to be hiding in your living room forever.”

Seth looks at her. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” she replies, with absolute conviction. “It’s time to stop waiting.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Ouch. Okay, I can take a hint.”

“Jerk. You know what I mean.”

When she hugs him, it’s hesitant and foreign after so many years. But it’s the right thing to do in the moment. As they pull apart, Happy feels a hundred pounds lighter inside. Seth still has a little smile on his face; it’s wistful, but it’s there.

“Take care of yourself,” she tells him, swallowing hard. Seth nods back at her.

“You too, Happy.”

He turns to push his way towards the airport security line, and Happy watches him for a minute. It almost doesn’t seem real that she’s seen him in the flesh, that he’s okay, that the papers are signed and this chapter of their lives is closed.

She walks out the door, back the way she’d come. If Seth turns to look back at her, Happy doesn’t see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are such gems and we are still so grateful for all of the amazing support :) We feel very lucky to have such awesome readers! Feel free to let us know what you think. And we're on Tumblr as well (@fatesofstarlight and @whatthehellisaquintis) if you haven't found us there already :)


	14. Chapter 14

“Hello?”

Happy has just opened the door to her apartment, and she isn’t even all the way through the door. She’s just left the garage, and if this is another case, there’s a high possibility that her phone will be taking a quick trip out the window.

“You wanna babysit with me?”

It’s rare that Toby skips the wisecracks and gets straight to the point.

She’d assumed it was a case when she saw the name light up her phone. She hadn’t had a call from Toby that wasn’t work related in a while. It’s a change of pace that she won’t admit she appreciates.

“Hello, Toby. I’m fine today, thank you for asking.”

She can practically hear Toby roll his eyes at her sarcasm.

“Ralph and I are planning a wonderful evening if you’d like to join us. But a word of warning, things might get wild. You know the boy genius is always up for a party.”

Happy turns around and locks the apartment door she didn’t fully open.

“I’ll be right there.”

She opens the door to Toby’s apartment without knocking, purely out of habit. She still has a key, but she realizes as she’s opening the door that she might not have the right to just barge in like she used to.

Apparently Toby doesn’t mind, because he starts talking in her direction as soon as she walks into the room.

“I’m glad you’re finally here.”

Happy throws herself down on the opposite end of the couch from Toby.

“You called me ten minutes ago, what’s the rush?”

Suddenly Ralph saunters in from the kitchen and sits down on the coffee table facing Happy and Toby.

“That’s the rush.” Toby gestures to the child sitting cross-legged on his coffee table. “He told me he wanted to talk to us, but he wouldn’t say a word until you got here.”

“So the anticipation has been driving you nuts since Paige dropped him off?” Happy’s smirking and acting sly, but inside she is burning with curiosity too.

She turns to completely face Ralph, leaning forward and giving him her undivided attention.

“What’s up, kid?”

Ralph takes a deep breath and it seems like he suddenly loses all of his confidence. He diverts his eyes to the floor and begins to pick at his nails.

“There’s this kid at school. We used to be friends, at least I thought we were friends. But then he became a part of the group that wasn’t nice to people. Last week, he stopped hanging out with them and apologized for being mean to me and everyone else.”

Ralph stops talking for a second, like he’s choosing his next words very carefully.

“Then what’s the problem?” Happy asks quietly. Toby’s surprised at her gentleness.

“I don’t know how to forgive him.”

Toby and Happy each lean back a little and look at each other, silently trying to decide how to handle this.

In the meantime, Ralph continues on, seeming to gain back a little of his confidence.

“No one’s ever apologized for hurting me before. I don’t know what to do.”

“So he apologized to you, but has he done anything to show that he means it?” Happy is somehow still trying to apply logic to the situation.

“He sat with me at lunch a couple of times last week.”

Toby puts on the same comforting voice he used to guide Happy through field surgery.

“That’s a step in the right direction. I know forgiving people is hard, and a genius memory makes whatever they did even harder to forget. But you just have to decide if someone is worth forgiving. Is he someone you’d like to be friends with in the future?”

Ralph thinks about it for a moment before he nods.

“It seems like he values me being smart, but he’s more creative and sometimes he helps me in art class. We’re really different, but he’s kind of cool and I wouldn’t mind being friends with him.”

“He apologized and it seems like he’s changed. He’s worked to earn your forgiveness. You’ve laid the groundwork, and you’ll forgive him when you’re ready. Just be patient. Maybe you’ll be closer as friends because of this.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

“Sometimes it’s not that easy.” Happy says, almost in a whisper, as she turns to look Toby straight in the eye.

“But sometimes it is.”

They continue to stare at each other until Ralph gets up from the coffee table and sits down on the couch in between them.

“Thanks, guys.” Ralph says as he turns on the TV.

Toby ruffles his hair, tearing his eyes away from Happy to look down at Ralph.

“Anytime, pal.”

By the time Paige knocks on the door, several movies have been watched by the three geniuses and all have been analyzed for unrealistic plot points and scientific inaccuracies.

“Did you have fun?” Paige asks Ralph as she helps him put on his jacket.

Ralph simply nods, deciding to keep the advice he’d gotten from Happy and Toby to himself.

It’s their little secret.

Happy starts to clean up the popcorn Toby managed to spill all over the place as Toby closes the door behind the Dineens.

She doesn’t notice that he spends at least a full minute staring at her, contemplating his next move.

Toby’s been thinking about this for a long time, and something about tonight just solidified it in his mind.

“Happy?” Toby asks, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the closed door.

“Yeah?” She puts down the popcorn bowl once she notices his suddenly thoughtful tone.

“Do you remember our first date?”

Her eyes widen slightly. She hadn’t expected this conversation to take that turn.

“You mean the one that didn’t happen?”

He nods, his posture still exuding seriousness.

“Do you want to try it again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	15. Chapter 15

The difficult part is, they’ve never actually done the romance thing before.

Sure, Toby has been an unabashed sap as long as Happy’s known him. But ever since their first non-date debacle, even Toby had become a little gun-shy. Candlelit dinners weren’t exactly familiar territory for them. So when Toby suggested they make fancy reservations, Happy had been pretty taken aback.

She’s going along with it, though. Obviously. She’s honestly still floored that Toby had suggested they go on a date. When she pictures their reconciliation in her mind (which happens embarrassingly often, while she’s falling asleep or lost in thought), Happy imagines Toby just sort of launching himself at her. In her mind, they don’t really need words at all.

“It’s just weird,” she texts Paige. “He’s being tentative. It’s not like him.”

She tosses her phone back onto the bed and considers her closet. When she looks back, there’s a text from Paige.

“Are you sure?”

“Well now I’m not,” she types back, scrunching her nose. This is why Happy hates texting; she can’t handle the suspense. While she waits, she pulls out the dress she’s decided on. It isn’t the same one she’d worn before, but it is black and similarly revealing. Toby’s never seen her in it before.

Her phone buzzes again.

“He doesn’t really make that many moves. It’s usually you.”

“He’s the one who asked me out first,” Happy points out. Paige texts back almost immediately.

“Yeah, after you planted one on him at the garage.”

Happy stares at the phone for a full minute. Paige sends another text before she can collect a coherent thought.

“Don’t be so shocked. I see things.”

Happy has to sit down.

She’d honestly seen herself as the passive one. But now that she looks back, she sees just how many times she had been the driving force behind what they did. Nearly every turning point in their growth together, Happy herself had instigated.

She’d come so far without even realizing it.

Her doorbell rings. With a tiny smile, Happy stops to spray perfume at her wrists and collarbone before she answers.

* * *

 

She takes his breath away, of course.

Toby has always thought Happy was out of his league, and seeing her in this incredible dress only reinforces that. She fidgets, though, as they sit down to their (ridiculously tiny) meal. She picks up her water every few seconds, and picks at the tablecloth as soon as her hands are free. Toby prides himself on knowing everyone’s nervous tics, but he’s never seen her act this way before. It occurs to him that Happy might be just as scared as he is. The stakes are just as high for her.

Happy loves him, just as much as he loves her. The thought is staggering to Toby; until now, he realizes that he’s never really believed it.

Still, it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve barely spoken all night.

“Not that it takes a world-class behaviorist to figure this out,” Toby says, “but this is uncomfortable.”

“You’ve got that right,” Happy replies, and Toby feels grateful for something to talk about. Even if the topic is how terribly their evening is starting out.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.”

She looks up at him sharply. “So why did you ask if you didn’t want to do it?”

“No, I wanted to, I just...it was different in my head.”

Happy knocks back the rest of her wine, as if in agreement.

Toby opens his mouth to speak but realizes he doesn’t quite know what to say. He’s tired of second-guessing himself so much around her; even before they’d first started dating, he had never been this cautious with his words.

Happy tilts her head to the side. She’d have to be a slab of concrete not to sense his hesitance. For the millionth time, Toby mentally kicks himself.

“Okay, Doc, spill.”

He sighs. “It’s stupid.”

“Well, I’ve said enough stupid things to you lately. It’s your turn.”

Toby has to crack a smile at that.

“I thought we’d be able to just pick up where we left off, but I don’t think it works that way. I can’t erase what happened. And now that I know the whole story I wouldn’t really want to. It’s part of you. But I’m still seeing him when I look at you. I still think about the night I proposed.”

Happy looks down at the table.

“Toby,” she sighs, “I don’t know what else to--”

“It’s not that you haven’t done enough. But you can’t fix everything just because you want to, Happy.”

She looks stung and Toby knows he’s royally screwing this up.

“I just mean that this isn’t like hotwiring a car. There’s no shortcut, there’s no manual. We just have to…”

“Wing it?” Happy offers.

“I guess.” He shrugs at her. “If we want to be us again.”

“And do you?” she asks, with a little steel in her voice. “Do you want to be us again?”

Toby watches her fist tighten around the stem of her empty glass. He knows how she feels; desperate, vulnerable, dangling from the edge of the unknown. Toby’s been there many times. But now it’s Happy’s heart on the table in front of him, and he isn’t sure he likes being in this position.

He won’t let her hang there for long.

“I do,” he tells her. “Of course I do. It’s just not as easy as I thought.”

“Right.” Happy pushes her food around with her fork and they fall into silence again.

“As long as we’re winging it,” Toby says, “what do you say we get out of here? We’ll never be comfortable if we’re dressed up like this. Not that you don’t look great, though. Did I already say you look great? Because you do.”

Happy just nods as he rambles on, but Toby doesn’t miss her smile. Suddenly he thinks this date might be salvageable after all.

“Maybe what we need is a normal night,” Happy says. “Kovelsky’s? We can take it back to my place.”

“Your place? Happy Quinn, are you trying to seduce me?” he quips, without even thinking about it. There’s a moment of blinding panic as he hopes he didn’t just shatter their fragile bubble. But Happy’s little smile is still there, and it turns mischievous.

“I wouldn’t have to try,” she says, and Toby feels the relief wash over him.

“Course not,” he mutters. The dress is still killing him. He tries not to think about it as they settle their bill and walk back to his car. But as always, it’s impossible for him not to steal glances at her.

As they walk, he reaches out to grab her hand. She looks up at him, squeezing his hand with an uncharacteristically shy smile. For a brief moment Toby feels as if there’s nothing standing between them; no obstacles, no ugly memories. Just the two of them. It’s only a moment, but it makes Toby confident that there will be more.

He notices something.

“You smell nice,” he tells her.

“Didn’t think you picked up on that.”

“Thought you knew by now,” he says. “I notice everything.”

* * *

 

The first thing they see upon walking into Happy’s apartment is Toby’s backup hat, still hanging on her coat rack from the last time he’d been there. It had become such a staple in her place that she hadn’t even thought about putting it away. Face burning, she hustles past it and takes their food into the living room. Toby stays in the doorway for a moment longer before joining her.

Normally Happy doesn’t like the television blaring, but she immediately turns it on, desperate for some background noise.

“You can pick something if you want,” she tells Toby, tossing him the remote. “I’m going to change.”

“Lucky.” He kicks back on her couch effortlessly, like it’s a familiar motion to him. The sight warms Happy, and she finds herself slightly more relaxed as she retreats to her bedroom for comfortable clothes.

She tosses the dress onto the floor, in an entirely different context than she’d hoped.

“So much for that,” she mutters, kicking at the heap of black fabric. “God, it’s been a weird night.”

“Futurama’s on,” Toby says hopefully when she returns in jeans, fluttering his eyelashes. Happy lets her raised eyebrow speak for her.

“Fine, I’ll pick something else,” he fake-grumbles. He starts flipping through channels again, but something seems to catch his eye.

“You still have that?”

Happy looks over to where Toby is pointing. It’s that stupid game with the colorful buttons, the one she’d reworked to test Sylvester’s skills.

“Oh. Yeah.” She shrugs. “It’s been there a long time. You’ve seen it.”

Happy doesn’t want to point out that she’d placed it very purposefully in that prominent spot, so she can see it every day. Every little thing she’s ever built, she’s kept. Even for this situation, though, it seems a little sappy to say it.

“I guess I forgot,” Toby replies, still half-grinning at the game. “What else do you have around here?”

She gets an interesting idea. Holding up a finger, she ducks into the closet behind her and drags out the dollhouse he had given her.

“Well,” she says, “there’s the obvious.”

Toby’s smile softens. “I thought that was at the garage.”

“I brought it here last week after Sly knocked over that soda next to it. I can’t trust you knuckleheads around my stuff.”

Toby shrugs, not denying the truth of her statement.

“What are you doing to it?” He peers into the dollhouse.

“I’m putting an elevator in.”

“Swanky.”

“I’m almost done,” she offers. “You could...you could help me if you want.”

The first part of their date had felt so much like rejection, Happy doesn’t know what she expects him to say. But Toby just reaches under her coffee table for her tools, right where he knows she keeps them, and hands her the needlenose pliers with a grin.

“Let’s do this.”

They lose track of time, as they often used to do. It’s uncomplicated. Happy works intentionally slower than she could have; they’re in very close quarters, and she likes feeling his breath on the back of her neck every now and then. She’s acutely aware of his hands, fumbling at times but always eager, as he passes her tools. Sometimes they brush against hers, and she fights the urge to drop everything and press their palms together. They’ve been stuck in this limbo for what feels like forever.

 _Get it together_ , she tells herself with a shaky breath.

Happy can’t remember the last time she felt like this. Even as a teenager, when everything was new, it had been all cerebral for her. But Toby, somehow, has always shot straight past her mental defenses. Tonight is turning out to be no exception. He leans in to adjust the pulley, so close that Happy could brush her lips against his neck if she wanted to. And she wants to, so much it makes her dizzy.

The tiny elevator comes to life with a whir, startling Happy back into the moment.

“Hey!” Toby flashes her a smile. “We did it.”

She clears her throat. “I guess we did.”

Their faces are still close, barely a breath apart. Happy’s half ready to screw patience and press him down into her carpet, when Toby scrambles up from the floor.

“I better get going,” he croaks. “But this was...can we do this again?”

He looks about as flushed and wired as she feels. Happy nods, with a tiny sigh.

“Any time. I’m right here, Doc.”  
  
“Okay.” Toby looks at her for a long moment before leaning down toward her. When he kisses her forehead Happy has to close her eyes, willing the moment to last a little longer. This is something he’s done many times before, to be friendly or to be romantic. This time, Happy hopes it’s both.

They exchange another small smile before he turns to go back to his car. Happy stays at the door until he’s pulled out of the parking lot and gone. When she goes back inside, her smile lingers.

It’s a start.


	16. Chapter 16

“So?”

Happy looks up briefly to see Paige standing in front of her desk staring down at her. Happy never knows how to react to that encouraging smile.

“So what?”

Paige rolls her eyes and sends Happy a disapproving look she’s all too familiar with.

“How did it go?”

This is exactly what Happy was afraid of. She’s beginning to think that telling Paige about the date was a bad idea in the first place.

“It was fine.” Happy turned her attention back to her work.

“Fine? That’s it? Details would be nice.” Paige’s gaze turns accusing and Happy is half a second away from rehashing the entire date.

Luckily, she’s saved by the Gallo.

Cabe wastes no time in handing each member of the team a file. After a brief moment of silence as the they digest the information, Paige holds up a picture of a strange looking flower.

“What’s this?”

Cabe opens his mouth to respond, but Toby beat him to the punch.

“Atropa belladonna. It can be a medicinal herb, but the leaves and berries are poisonous. Low doses cause hallucinations, and high doses lead to a heart-exploding death.”

“So it’s a pretty flower that can kill you? Sounds like Happy.” Paige says with a smile. Happy sends her a death glare that further proves her point.

“I’ll say,” Toby chimes in. He gestures pointedly to the piano and chuckles, like he’s expecting people to laugh along with him. As if there had been anything about that night worth laughing about. Hurt clenches Happy’s stomach, so she immediately punches him. It’s the only plausible reaction she can think of.

“Too soon, Doc,” she deadpans. Toby looks like he could say more, but Cabe breaks in.

“That pretty flower is the hottest new drug on the street. Hundreds of ODs in LA in the past few months.” Cabe crosses his arms like he means business.

“What does that have to do with us?” Happy is already not a fan of how this day is going.

“The current antidotes aren’t getting the job done, and the more potent developmental antidote was stolen from a lab in San Diego last night. There’s been concern about bioterrorism, so Homeland needs us to track it down.”

“Is there any security camera footage from the lab?” Walter moves over to his desk and begins typing away on his computer.

Cabe nods, and rolls his eyes, exhibiting the behavior usually indicative of caffeine withdrawal.

“The guard on duty said it just vanished.” Cabe tosses Walter the flash drive with the completely unhelpful footage on it.

“This was edited. They used a loop of previous video to cover the actual footage. The good news is, whoever did this is incredibly inept. Ralph could have done this better when he was three.”

“Well, at least there’s some good news,” Cabe grouses.

“Does Cooper have any leads?”

Cabe wraps up his briefing quickly, and before Happy knows it they’re in the van booking it towards San Diego. Between Walter’s hacking and some quick profiling from Toby, it’s laughably easy for them to track the lead. Sometimes Happy wonders how Homeland continues to function.

She’s behind the wheel, of course, and grateful that the road gives her something else to focus on besides Dr. Jackass in the back seat. But even so, her mind wanders. She and Toby have been making progress, or so she’d thought. By the end of their date things had started to feel almost normal between them. And Toby isn’t exactly known for his sensitivity; for that matter, she isn’t either. But after everything she’s tried to do to make things right between them, the wisecrack hits her deeply wrong.

Toby pokes his head up so that she can see him through the rearview mirror.

“Happy, listen--”

“Haven’t you said enough today?”

He sighs. “Okay, I realize what I said wasn’t in the best of taste--”

“Just tell me something.” Happy lowers her voice to a hiss; apparently she won’t be holding this back after all. She wishes the rest of the team weren’t in such close quarters, but it can’t be helped.

“I want to know if you’re still going to be bringing this up ten years from now when you’re mad, or when you want to get a rise out of me. Because that’s not what I signed up for. I have explained what happened, I’ve apologized to you a million times, I’ve told you that I lo--”

Happy chokes on the world “love.” She can’t say it this way, not when she’s so frustrated she could burst.

“I’ve told you how I feel about you, and that isn’t going to change. Doc, I want--”

She glances down. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Cabe abruptly turn to look out the window, like he hasn’t been listening. Behind them, Walter clears his throat.

“I want to be with you,” she goes on, even more quietly. “And I’m pretty sure you want that too. But if that’s going to happen, you have got to put the past behind you at some point. You can’t punish me forever.”

Toby stares at her, his eyes huge and round in the rearview mirror. “Happy, I’m--”

“Nope. Just think about it and get back to me.”

She cuts her eyes back to the road. They’re almost at their destination, which Happy thinks is for the best as she observes her shaking hands. It occurs to her that she’s just made a risky move, yelling at Toby just as they’re starting to come back together. But in the same moment, she thinks he’ll have to be able to handle the truth.

They pull up to an abandoned-looking warehouse.

“It doesn’t look like there’s anyone here,” Paige muses, looking at the dark building. There are no cars around and no sign of movement inside.

“So we can just get in, grab the antidote, and get out.”

“Let’s hope.” Cabe is already starting to unbuckle his seat belt.

“Wait, Cabe,” says Walter, holding up a hand. “Happy should go. She’ll be able to move with more stealth.”

“Good to know that’s all I am to you people,” she grumbles. “A tiny spider monkey.”

Toby opens his mouth, but at Happy’s sharp glance he snaps it shut. The smartest thing he’s done all day, in her opinion.

Happy really has no idea what she’s walking into, but she finds the building pretty easy to navigate. She searches silently, staying low and hugging the walls, until she peers through a doorway to see exactly what she’s looking for. Even better, there’s a door on the far side of the room with daylight streaming in.

“Coast is clear,” she says under her breath. “I see the antidote out on the table.”

“Get it,” Walter demands immediately. “You need to run for it now, Happy.”

“Pull around to the north side. You should see a door.“ Happy starts to cross the room, but at that moment a far door opens and four men enter. She darts back behind her own doorway.

“Happy,” Paige says, sounding cautious, “do I hear voices?”

“Yeah, we’ve got unexpected company.”

“Maybe you should turn back. They’ll see you.”

“No, I can get to it,” she mutters, still peering out at the antidote. Her heart is beating a wild pattern against her ribcage, but if luck is on her side, Happy’s confident this will go off without a hitch. It’s a big, cluttered room, and no one knows she’s there.

But as it turns out, luck isn’t on her side. One of the men turns his head at exactly the wrong moment, sees her moving, and before Happy knows it there is a flurry of gunfire. Immediately everyone starts shouting, both in the room and the team into her comm. All the voices blur together into a roar; Happy doesn’t have the luxury of focusing on them. The antidote is just a few steps away; she can still grab it and get out the other side. After taking half a second to get her bearings, she pushes all thought out of her mind and just runs. It’s pure adrenaline driving her forward, covering the space between the warehouse and the safety of Cabe’s van. Gunshots ring out behind her, but she can’t let herself think about it until she’s bursting outside and throwing the van door open.

“Did you get it?” Walter asks right away.

Happy stares down at her hand in shock; her fist is closed tight around the antidote. “I guess I did. And I’m fine, by the way, thanks Walter.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” says Toby, clambering over to check for broken bones or wounds concealed by shock and adrenaline. It’s been a while since he’s touched her so long or with such purpose.

His hands are as gentle as she remembers. 

* * *

 

Paige, Sly, and Cabe are still fussing over Happy when they get back to the garage, despite her grumbling that she’s perfectly fine. Normally Toby would have been the one fussing over her the most, but tonight he retreats to the airstream. Happy’s in good hands with the rest of the team, and his thoughts are screaming so loudly that the silence can only help.

Near-death experiences are a very real part of their job, and Toby had thought he’d made his peace with that. But seeing Happy in that situation had been like an anvil crushing his chest. Even now, the thought of a different outcome--if Happy hadn’t come out of it--practically blinds Toby with fear. She could so easily have been lost.

How long has it been, Toby wonders, since he’s told Happy he loves her? Throughout everything they’ve been through, that hasn’t changed. If she had died today, would she have been confident of that? Toby’s heart sinks as he considers the answer. Especially given what she’d said in the van earlier.

Forgiveness is a strange thing. Toby’s had a love-hate relationship with it over the years, but he is definitely experienced. And for a rational being like himself, the keys to forgiveness have been pretty easy to nail down. Really, it all comes down to priorities.

He could carry his hurt forever if he wants. He could nurse the bitterness and pride and continue to tell himself that he was _right_ and Happy was _wrong_. The question is simple: does he want to keep his ego, or does he want the woman he loves?

He’d be crazy not to know the answer right away.

“Hey Happy,” he calls, poking his head out the airstream door, “come here a minute.”

Toby figures he should probably be nervous as he listens to her footsteps. But when he sees her enter the airstream and shut the door behind her, he knows there’s nothing to be nervous about. Happy has left the ball in his court this time. Toby smiles; it’s her final grand gesture.

“Hey, Doc,” she says quietly.

He doesn’t even try to come up with something to say; they’ve talked enough. Instead, he just takes a long stride toward her and pulls her close, leaning down to meet her in a kiss.

She’s unprepared for it; Toby feels her squeak of surprise muffled against his lips. But she rallies quickly, wrapping an arm around his neck and pressing closer to him. Her kiss is just as overwhelming as it’s always been, burning everything else away but the two of them.

“I love you,” he breathes into her mouth, barely pulling back enough to speak. “Happy, I love you so much, I’m tired of this, I want you, I’m ready--”

“I love you, Doc,” she whispers before pulling him for another searing kiss. It’s a long time before they pull back, out of breath and staring at each other with wide eyes.

“I was a jerk,” he finally says. “I’m sorry.”

“I know, Toby.” She leans up to hug him even tighter, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. Toby drops a kiss onto the top of her head and vaguely wonders if this is too good to be real. When Happy lets go of him, she looks more relaxed than Toby has seen her in weeks.

“Now,” she says as a tiny smile creeps onto her face. “Your place or mine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to everyone who read and enjoys this fic; we feel so grateful to have your support, it means the world to us. Hope you enjoy, and of course comments are welcome! :)


	17. Chapter 17

“Would you be offended if I fell asleep right now?” Toby stretches out on his back like a cat, tugging Happy closer. She lets one of her legs slip between his and sighs at his fingertips running lightly up and down her spine. They’d decided on Toby’s place, simply because it’s closer and they hadn’t wanted to spend any unnecessary time en route. It’s still a little surreal to be back in this room, in his bed, knowing their clothes are strewn down the hallway she’s walked down a hundred times before.

“I think I’d take it as a compliment,” she breathes into his neck, knowing he can feel her smirk.

“Oh, believe me, it is.” He finds the energy for a laugh, but his voice is already drifting. Happy skims a hand up his side to rest on his freckled shoulder.

“Rest up, Doc. You’ll need it later.”

Toby just smiles, without opening his eyes. Happy leans down to kiss him. It’s soft, and Toby barely returns the pressure; by the time she pulls back, she’s pretty sure he’s out cold.

She stays curled beside him for a while. But it turns out that listening to Toby snore isn’t actually all that interesting, so she gets up after a few more minutes. Slipping his robe over her shoulders feels right in a way that Happy hasn’t felt in several weeks. She presses the robe’s baggy collar to her mouth to hide the fact that she’s suddenly beaming.

It’s late and the sky outside is dark, but Happy doesn’t bother turning lights on as she moves through the apartment. She wants to see if she still knows the shapes of his home, the way she had before.

“It hasn’t been that long,” she mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes at herself. She’s glad Toby isn’t there to hear her talking to herself and being dramatic. But then again, after everything that’s happened, Happy figures she’s entitled to a little nostalgia.

Oddly, it’s the most comfortable she’s ever felt in his apartment. Before Toby had proposed, there had been a distinct boundary between his space and hers. But ever since the moment she’d walked away from him that night, her boundaries had started to dissolve. In their separation all she’d wanted was more closeness. Any doubts she’d had about Toby had fled the second she’d seen the ring, and she had known it was finally time to stop hiding.

After all that’s happened, Happy can’t quite believe she’s here now, staring at his hideous curtains and feeling perfectly at home.

She finds herself back in the bedroom before too much longer; Toby doesn’t stir as she settles next to him in bed. Happy wants to touch his shoulder or his face, but she can’t bring herself to disturb him. So she just closes her eyes and rests in the quiet.

After a moment he rolls over to unconsciously pull her against him, and Happy’s breath catches in her chest. She knows Toby is a clingy sleeper, and it isn’t as if he’s never done this before. But it’s just so good to finally feel him warm and secure against her; she loves him so much it makes her ache.

For the first time Happy can remember, she looks at him and doesn’t feel a shred of fear.

* * *

 

There’s no alarm the next morning; instead, Toby wakes to the sunlight filtering in through his bedroom window. Blinking himself alert, he moves to sit up before remembering that there’s someone else in bed next to him. He can’t keep the grin off his face as Happy starts to stir, waking with a tiny groan.

“Toby?”

“Morning, sunshine,” he says softly. It’s not his best nickname, but Happy still looks half-asleep anyway. Toby slips his fingers into her hair and watches her open her eyes. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbles. Toby finds himself being pulled back down into bed and pressed close against her. Happy tips her head up to kiss him; somehow it feels both familiar and brand-new.

“I missed you.” She looks right into his eyes for a long moment before pressing their foreheads together.

“I missed you too. You have no idea.”

“Pretty sure I do.” Happy kisses him again and he melts down into it. “Now stop arguing, you have better things to do.”

They get sidetracked several times, but eventually they make their way out of bed. It’s a silent understanding that they’re spending the weekend in; Toby has trouble containing his glee at doing lazy, boring things with Happy again.

“Did you just pinch yourself?” she asks him, after they’ve showered, eaten, and settled on the couch.

“I’ve been doing that all day.” He kisses her nose and she wrinkles it, laughing. “You just didn’t notice.”

“Dork.” She grabs the remote from him and starts flipping through channels, eventually settling on Family Feud. Toby had almost forgotten the absolute pleasure of watching Game Show Network with a fellow genius. Especially when that genius is Happy, who knows all the categories he‘s not as well-versed in and takes similar enjoyment in beating the contestants to every answer.

They end up piled into the very corner of his couch, Happy halfway in Toby’s lap with his arms around her. It’s warm and comfortable, and he sneaks his hand under her shirt to feel her skin against his palm. Every now and then he drops a kiss onto her temple, just because he can and it feels good.

Meanwhile, Happy has captured his other hand in both of hers. Toby’s attention drifts from the television to watch her curl her fingers around his. She inspects his knuckles and turns his hand over to feel his palm. Toby savors each point of contact as he turns back to the TV.

“What’s this?”

Toby’s stomach tightens at the tone of her voice. He knows what she’s seen.

“It’s scar tissue from the cords. When I was, you know…” He trails off.

“Held hostage by a maniac,” he finally finishes. Happy blinks and he can see her trying not to physically flinch at the reminder.

Instead, she circles the scar with her thumb. “Are there more?”

Toby tilts his head so that his temple is in her line of vision. He knows she’s seen the scar near his hairline when her fingertips move across it.

“I never got to check on you after.”

“We both had other things on our minds.” Toby almost wishes this subject wasn’t coming up now, but they have to talk about it. It happened; tiptoeing around it won’t change that fact.

“And I came out fine, physically. You made sure of that.”

He leans in, and she meets his lips halfway. They make it leisurely and slow; before long Toby is half-tempted to take their conversation back to his bed. But Happy pulls back just slightly, enough to look him in the eyes.

“That was one of the scariest days of my life,” she says quietly, rubbing her thumb along his wrist again. “Thinking you might be gone, and I might not be able to stop it.”

Toby lets out a quiet laugh before he can stop himself.

“I knew you’d come.”

Happy doesn’t say anything, but she does burrow closer against his side.

“How many times do you think we’ll have to save each other’s lives from now on?” she says eventually.

“Hm. Annually?”

“More than that and you know it.”

Toby laughs. “Probably. But we’re in it together, and that’s all I care about.”

“Have you gotten even cheesier over the last few weeks?” Happy groans, but Toby knows she’s not annoyed when she turns to kiss his cheek.

“You’re just not used to hearing it.”

Her gaze turns serious as they look at each other. Toby feels something heavier settle over the moment, and he can’t stop his next words.

“I love you.”

“Love you too,” she says. It sounds a little stiff, like she’s memorized it; afterwards, she takes a shaky breath.  
  
“You don’t have to say it every time I do, you know,” says Toby, stroking a thumb against her cheek. “It’s okay.”

“Believe me, I wasn’t planning to.” She gives him a wry smile. “But...I want to say it more.”

Toby tightens his arms around her as she ducks her head. He appreciates her struggle to express herself this way, and he’s touched by the fact that she’s working so hard. When she speaks again it’s halting and soft, but her words warm Toby to the core.

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the fluffs! It's been a long summer getting to this point, and we're so pumped to be here now :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garage moments as we wind things down :) We're almost done! Thank you guys so much for sticking with us :)

“I guess I can cancel the appointment with Dr. Rizzuto I made for you.” Paige is whispering, trying not to let the guys hear.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Happy continues working, not wanting to continue this conversation.

“The real Brangelina might be over, but our Brangelina is doing just fine.”

Happy feels like anything she could say at this point would be incriminating, and her silent lack of eye contact is more than enough for Paige’s suspicions to be confirmed.

“Between the lingering looks, the whispers, and the exact five minutes between when the two of you got here this morning, it’s obvious.”

Happy finally meets her gaze.

“How obvious?”

Paige turns, looking around the room.

“Well, I don’t think I’m the only one who noticed.” She tilts her head in the direction of Sylvester’s desk, where he and Ralph are huddled over his computer.

Then all of a sudden she’s gone, leaving Happy alone at her desk, with her equally dangerous tools and thoughts.

* * *

  
They had been running every last errand together lately, and running out to get lunch seems almost routine at this point. Their outings have been relaxed and friendly, because apparently not even Walter and Toby could turn a lunch run into a verbal sparring match. These little escapades that Paige had been sending them on had been going well, until today.

Today is different. The atmosphere in the car is awkward and extremely uncomfortable, and by the time they’re on their way back to the garage, Toby has had enough.

“What’s going on, Walt?” Walter doesn’t even look away when Toby speaks, like he was expecting the question.

“Nothing is going on.”

Toby rolls his eyes.

“Something’s definitely up. Don’t make me profile it out of you.” To prove his point, Toby shifts more in the passenger seat to face Walter, completely prepared to stare into his soul if he has to.

Walter gazes at Toby out of the corner of his eye in annoyance.

“I’ve noticed that your relationship with Happy has progressed lately.”

Were they that obvious that even Walter knew?

Toby’s eyes narrow as he turns his attention to the window.

“Is that a problem?” Toby isn’t really sure if he is ready to have the workplace relationship conversation again.

“No.” Walter opens his mouth to speak again, but decides to settle for the one word answer.

“Then why are we talking about it?”

They sit in silence for a while as Walter ponders the question and chooses the right words.

“At first, I was concerned that your relationship would make you less efficient and hurt the team. But, I’ve seen the way you and Happy have worked together in the past, and the team hasn’t been the same since that stopped. You work more efficiently together. You’re happier together.”

Walter pauses to take a deep breath.

“I’m glad the two of you worked it out.”

“Thank you, Walter.”

* * *

 

  
Once again, Sylvester finds himself unsure of how to approach Happy.

Neither of them are good with this kind of thing, so he’d decided to just dive right into the conversation and see where it goes. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done.

“Spit it out already.”

Apparently he’s been standing too close to her desk for too long and she noticed.

He takes one small step closer to her desk.

“Are you and Toby okay?”

Happy drops her wrench. She knew this is where this conversation was going to end up, but she’s honestly tired of talking about it.

“We’re fine.” She puts on her best passive glare, hoping to show Sylvester that she wasn’t in the mood for this little talk.

“I knew you could get him back.” Sly’s smile turns just the slightest bit smug.

Happy stands up, placing her palms on her desk.

“How did you know?”

“Because you’re Happy Quinn. You can do anything.” 

* * *

 

“Are you and Happy back together?”

Toby jumps slightly; he hadn’t even noticed the small human was there.

“You don’t pull any punches, do you, kid?”

Ralph just shakes his head and hoists himself up onto Toby’s desk.

Toby ponders his question. He isn’t sure if Happy wants everyone to know, but if Walter knows, and Ralph can guess, then chances are, everyone else figured it out a long time ago.

But before he can answer, Happy walks up to his desk.

“Are you ready to go?”

Ralph jumps off of Toby’s desk and gives them both a small smile.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“What?” Happy isn’t sure she wants to know what they were talking about before she arrived.

“I’m glad you guys are happy again.”

Ralph walks away, leaving Happy and Toby somewhat awkwardly staring at each other.

“Goodnight, lovebirds.” Cabe walks by, clapping Toby on the back as he goes out the door.

Happy rolls her eyes and follows Cabe to the door.

Toby catches up quickly and throws an arm lazily across her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” She’s questioning him, but not pushing him away.

“What’s the big deal? Everyone knows anyway.”

There was no dramatic pronouncement, but every member of the team knew that Happy and Toby were back together, and stronger than ever.

It seems to Happy like everything is falling into place, and the Scorpion world has finally turned right-side up again.

It was far from easy, but she’d done it.

She got him back.

 


	19. Chapter 19

They tell themselves that six months isn’t that long. And Toby tries not to think of it as waiting, because he isn’t planning to whip the engagement ring back out as soon as Happy’s divorce finalizes. Still, the date remains in the back of their minds as they go about their lives, picking up their rhythm and strengthening it as the time passes.

They come back together surprisingly easily, by the time the six months are almost up. There are changes, of course; Toby is a little more cautious at times and he can tell Happy notices. Sometimes he’ll catch her lost in thought and feel that familiar resentful spark, wondering if she’s thinking of her husband. But he goes back to his logical mind. It’s natural for Happy to think about Seth every now and then; they were close for a long time. It gets easier and easier to tell himself this.

“Ready to go?”

Happy’s voice at the door breaks Toby out of his thoughts. She’s smiling at him, and Toby thinks that after all the heartbreak and silence and waiting, that smile is worth every bit of it.

* * *

 

“Have your dad check his blood pressure while you’re in there. We want to be sure it’s not creeping back up.”

“Why don’t you just check it yourself when you get back?”

“Oh. Good call,” Toby says brightly. He leans down, almost absently, to kiss her. It’s over before Happy is quite ready, so she grips the front of his shirt to pull him back. By the time they’re finished, she’s leaning against the car and Toby’s cheeks have significantly more color to them.

“Uh. What was I doing?”

“Leaving.” Happy removes her hands from where they’d been tangled at the small of his back. “You’re getting us dinner.”

“Right.” He shakes his keys at her. “I’ll be back shortly. You two have fun.”

When she finally makes her way to the house Patrick is standing by the door, smirking. Happy flushes up to her hairline.

“Uh. How are you feeling, Dad?”

“Not as good as you,” Patrick says without missing a beat. He grins, and Happy can’t help but return it in spite of herself.

“Yeah.” She jerks her head towards the window to indicate Toby. “Everything’s, uh, good again. We’re getting through it.”

Patrick squeezes her shoulder as he moves past her to sit on the couch. “I’m proud of you, Happy.”

“Why?” It seems like an odd thing to be proud of. Why should Patrick congratulate her for doing what anyone in a committed relationship would do?

He doesn’t answer her question.

“Have I ever told you what today is?” he says instead, with the beginnings of a smile.

Happy pauses midstep. “What’s today?”

“Your mom and I got married thirty years ago today.”

Eyes wide, Happy sinks onto the couch next to Patrick. He looks a little misty-eyed, even now.

“I try not to live in the past. I know she wouldn’t have wanted to see that. But,” he shrugs, “you see how well that’s worked out. Today I let myself go back.”

“Dad-”

“She was the one who proposed to me. Did I tell you that?”

This brings Happy up short. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah. I’d been carrying the ring around in my pocket for weeks, waiting for the right time.” He laughs to himself. “I told myself I was waiting until I knew Grace was ready, but really I was scared.”

Happy smiles back at him. Even after all this time, she’s enraptured by stories about her mother.

“Anyway, one night she just turned to me and said, ‘So when are you planning on taking that ring out of your pocket?’”

They both laugh. Happy can picture the scene in her mind; even from what little she’s seen of Grace, it seems like something she would say.

“And then she asked me to marry her. She said she was done waiting and she knew what she wanted. Apparently that was me.” Patrick’s eyes begin to cloud over with different memories. He and Grace had barely gotten any time together, just a few years until she’d died having his child. Happy can only imagine what that must do to a person. More than likely, she’ll never really know.

“We’re a lot alike, Dad.”

“Normally I’d apologize for that, but you make me think it’s a good thing.” He smiles. “Earlier, I said I’m proud of you because I know how easy it would have been to hide behind your fear. I’ve lived my whole life that way. But you put your heart on the line and you kept it there, Happy. I don’t know exactly what happened between you and the doc, but I know it took a lot of work for you.”

“Yeah. For both of us.” She looks down at her lap. “I don’t think I can take all the credit.”

“Still. You went for it. God, I wish you could have known your mom. You’re more like her than you think.”

He lifts a tentative arm to wrap around her shoulders. Happy accepts the contact, leaning back slightly closer and enjoying it more than she’d like to admit.

“I hope you’re right.”


	20. Chapter 20

Toby tips the pizza guy and carries the boxes into his living room, where Happy is parked on the couch. He puts them down on the coffee table directly on top of the mail, wondering if she picks up on what he’s doing. The notice had come that morning informing Happy that her marriage was over, the connection officially broken. She’d been relieved, of course, but Toby had almost been expecting more of a reaction from her at the news. She’s been glancing at the letter all day, when she thinks Toby isn’t looking.

He can still see her mental gears turning as he sits down next to her.

“Crazy day, huh?”

“Crazier than some, sure.” She smiles briefly before grabbing for a slice of pizza. Toby stares her down.

“Is it a little bittersweet?”

Happy looks down at her lap, silently chewing her pizza before putting the slice back down.

“It’s okay if it is, Hap. I can tell you’ve had something on your mind all day. If you need help processing-”

“Easy, Doc. I don’t need a shrink. And yeah, it is a little...surreal, but not in a bad way. I just hope he’s okay.”

“Closure is good,” he replies, moving into shrink mode before he even realizes it. “You did the right thing, looking him up.”

Toby is a little surprised to find his words sincere as they come out. It’s a nice surprise, though. Happy is looking at him, her expression indecipherable. Toby smiles at her, and is about to reach for a slice of pizza when she moves to sit in his lap.

“Uh, Happy?”

“Chill.” She settles. “I just want to...ask you something.”

Toby’s stomach swoops. She’s looking at him so seriously, her eyes fixed on his, and God could this be going where he thinks it is?

“Happy?” he asks again, in a smaller voice.

She swallows. “Doc, I...I still think about that night in the garage, when you said you’d love me-”

“Until I can’t forget how,” he finishes. “I worked on that line for a week.”

She grins. “It was a good line, I’ll give you that. And...by now I hope you know I feel the same way. I felt that way when you said it the first time, and I know we’ve been through a lot since then, but we always loved each other and-”

Happy falters, her fingers tapping a jittery rhythm against Toby’s shoulders. He fights the urge to jump in and finish her sentence for her.

“I should have written a speech for this,” she finally says.

“You’re doing great.” Toby’s voice comes out in a choked whisper.

Happy leans back, letting her fingers drift up to the back of his neck. “I’ve asked a lot from you the past few months and I know it wasn’t easy. But...but I think we’re both so far from where we started, and it feels like we’re ready. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Toby doesn’t feel so bad about the tears forming in his eyes when he sees that Happy’s are similarly watery.

“So.” Here she smiles, holding a self-deprecating laugh inside. “Tobias M. Curtis, will you marry me?”

Even though he’d known where this conversation was likely heading, Toby still finds himself a little speechless when he hears the words. Happy isn’t holding up much better; she’s still smiling, but ducks her head to stare at her lap.

“I’ve never been good at saying no to you,” he says finally, his voice thick with tears. “Not planning on starting now.”

She bites out a laugh and sinks down onto his knees in relief. Toby reaches out to take her hand in his. He strokes her hair with his free hand; in response, Happy presses a kiss to his knuckles and one to his temple. Toby lets the moment stretch for as long as he can, before reluctantly disentangling from her and getting to his feet.

“Wait there,” he says, willing his legs not to shake as he makes his way to his coat pocket. “I have the finishing touch.”

Toby had considered getting her a new ring, one that didn’t carry any memories of the first time he’d tried to give it to her. But he’d never been able to replace it; at the end of the day, this is Happy’s ring. He smiles as he sits back on the couch to slide it onto her finger. The look on her face, that beaming smile as she gets a good look at it, tells Toby that he’d made the right decision.

“So, you proposed and you get the ring?” he jokes. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Deal with it, Doc.” She shifts towards him and wraps her arms around his neck.

“I will,” he says, leaning in. “For the rest of my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It still hasn't quite sunk in for me that this is the end of our journey. This story has been such an incredible joy to write, and a lot of that joy came from all of you that have read along with us over the hiatus. I think we have some of the best and most insightful commenters out there, and I know I've said it many times before, but I feel so fortunate that we've had such amazing feedback. Thank you all so much for being so supportive and awesome! 
> 
> Marissa, I want to give you a sappy shout-out and tell you how much this experience has meant to me, but I don't think I'm ready to cry yet today. It blows my mind that we've created this thing and grown so much while doing it. I love you <3
> 
> \--Maggie


	21. Epilogue

“Is this weird?” 

Happy leans in closer to him and tells herself that it’s just because she can’t hear his voice over the music. 

“Is what weird?” 

“You’re dancing at your ex-husband’s wedding.” 

She stops to look around, watching too many people she’s never met glide across the dance floor. 

Toby’s right, to anyone else, this whole thing would be painfully awkward. Normal people would have avoided this event like the plague. 

“He was at our wedding.”

Toby briefly spins her around and pulls her back as her arms wind around his neck. Happy watches his eyes narrow. She knows exactly what he’s doing. 

“Stop profiling them.” 

Happy isn’t serious, she knows this is what Toby does in a crowd. 

“Have you ever thought about how different she is from you? Or how different he is from me?” 

Happy tenses, mostly because she’s not exactly sure where this is going. 

“Stella is quiet and gentle, and you’re fearless and powerful. Seth is artistic and easy going, and I’m intellectual and charming.” Like always, Happy chuckles at his arrogance. Then his face softens and he turns serious. “It’s strange to think about how you both got to where you are now.” 

Happy looks away, withdrawing into her own mind. In reality, she thinks about this a lot. Twenty year old Happy couldn’t have imagined being away from Seth, let alone watching him marry someone else with her husband at her side. 

Both as a behaviorist and a husband, Toby knows it’s time for a subject change. 

“Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?” 

He loosens his grip on her waist and places a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. 

“At least three times.” 

She wouldn’t mind if he kept saying it all night. 

“Is that a new dress?” 

She turned her attention to the floor. 

“No. But it’s new to you.” 

He looked her up and down unabashedly, not caring that he’s openly checking her out on the dance floor at a wedding. 

“What do you mean?” 

He meets her eyes once again and the smallest of smiles graces her face. 

“I wore it on the date you slept through.” 

Toby’s eyes widen almost comically. 

Before he can even start checking her out again, she places a finger under his chin and tilts his head so his eyes are meeting hers. 

“My eyes are up here.”

His arms tighten around her waist and he presses a light kiss to her forehead as she rests her head against his chest. 

From the failed date to the failed proposal, and the countless near-death experiences in between, they’ve truly proven that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 

Happy looks around the room again, and her eyes meet Seth’s. Then, after a split second he turns back to look at his new wife with a kind of love and admiration that Happy has never before seen in his eyes. 

She turns her gaze back to Toby, seeing the same love and admiration staring back at her. 

At that moment, Happy realizes that no matter how long the road was, she ended up back right where she needed to be, in Toby’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been our brain child since April, and it means the world to both Maggie and I. Our little hiatus fic is over, and hopefully it'll bring us good luck for the new season. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, commenting, and going on this little journey with us. 
> 
> ...and now for the sappy things...
> 
> Maggie, you are the other half of my mind and I couldn't imagine writing with anyone else. Thank you for making this such a great experience and sharing the thoughts that come from your talented brain with me. I love you! 
> 
> -Marissa


End file.
